What size plate are you using for your meals?
I recently heard someone say that they prefer to use small plates when they eat their meals. When I asked why, she said it’s because it helps her manage overeating. If you’re a member of the “Clean Plate Club” this is also used to help manage that. I thought to myself “Wow! She must have some powerful plates because my plates don’t have those kinds of special powers!”
I’m just being funny because I think that what she meant was when she uses a small plate, she tends to serve herself less food. And, while I understand why someone might think this is perfectly acceptable, my diet mentality warning antenna popped up and here’s why.
- Using small plates could be an indication that you’re trying to control how much you eat.
- It could be a way to control the types of foods you choose to eat based on size, length, etc.
- It could also be an indication that you don’t trust yourself around food and need a small a plate to guide you.
On the plus side, I see that using a small plate could give you that pause you may need to check your fullness levels. While I’m 100% in favor of that, be sure that you allow your fullness level guide your next decision and not your clean plate. So, if you clean your small plate and discover that you’re still hungry and want more food, give yourself permission to eat more food! Remember, food restriction has the same negative effects as dieting and usually leads to a binge eating or overeating later.
Why does this matter? It matters because people are sometimes using small plates to tell their bodies to stop eating but they may still be hungry. But, because their plate is clean, they don’t check-in or all allow themselves to eat more because the plate is their fullness meter and not their body. While we are free to use whatever size plate we want, if we ever want to learn to trust and allow our bodies to guide us (which is the focal point of Intuitive Eating), we need to tune-in to our bodies and stop using external things to tell us what our bodies need.
I know what you may be saying to yourself…
“Yeah, but when I use a big plate I overeat and feel awful!”
My response: I get it, but if you keep allowing and tuning in, this will dissipate over time. Patience in the process is the answer here.
“I don’t want to overeat because I’m afraid I’ll get fat.”
My response: If you continue to believe that thinner is better or being thinner is healthier, you’ll unlikely ever find food freedom.
“I have a hard time honoring my fullness and need the small plate or _______ to guide me.”
My response: Take your time and tune-in during and after your plate is empty to assess where your fullness meter is. Let this be your guide, not your plate.
Trust me, I’ve said things like this to myself and have heard the same or similar comments from my clients, so I get it, girlfriend! I’m not judging, I’m trying to help you see this in a new light.
However, the reality is that any time we’re trying to control our food intake with a plate, a timer, a bogus rule, we’re not eating intuitively. Period. If you want to truly be free from food obsession and/or restriction, weight cycling (yo-yo dieting) (even though you’re not stepping on the scale) you’ll need to learn to tap into your bodies inherent inner wisdom. With that, you can relearn to trust your body so it can tell you what it needs, how much it needs, and when it needs it. Basically, you’ll be relearning what dieting/restricting stole from you for all those years!!
Getting in touch with your hunger and honoring your fullness is one of the most fundamental concepts of Intuitive Eating. Believe me, because I’ve done it myself, trying to control your food in any way will never allow you to fully embrace Intuitive Eating. However, allowing all foods (unless there is a sensitivity or allergy to them) and tuning in to your natural bodies cues will.
So, use whatever size plate you want bearing in mind what I said. When you learn how to tune-in to your body instead of using your plate to tell you when you’re full, you’re flexing that trust muscle which makes food freedom possible.
What external distractions are you using to control what and how much you’re eating?
This article was originally published here but has been updated to remove references to weight and size as they are often triggering. Be sure to read the article update at the end.
My story is definitely not the typical before and after weight loss tale, and that’s okay. It’s the story of how finding peace with my food and my body gave me the freedom that being a size X never did or never will.
If you are considering going on another diet because you’re unhappy with your weight, this article is for you.
Two years ago, I had a rude awakening. After finding and maintaining my small size X body and remaining at that weight for over two years, I began to gain weight very quickly. I had struggled with food and body image for 30+ years, but when I became a vegetarian three years earlier, I thought I had found “the” answer to controlling my weight.
I was no stranger to yo-yo dieting. In fact, I had dieted for a good part of my life. You know the routine. Losing weight and then gaining it all back again (usually plus more). It’s a confidence-crushing cycle that many of us have become accustomed to doing.
What made this weight gain different from all the others was that I was now a Certified Holistic Health Coach and the way I looked was important for my job…or so I thought. I remember thinking to myself “How will my clients see me as healthy if I’m not thin?” and “How will my clients take advice from me about eating if I cannot stop eating myself?” These thoughts consumed me and often made me feel ashamed and confused.
What no one knew is that the reason I had gained the weight was because I suffered with a serious bout of depression. I diligently took herbal remedies and tried doing more of the things that provided some relief like yoga and meditation, but they were not helping enough to make a difference in my day-to-day life. After suffering for nearly a year, I decided to go on anti-depressant medication. For those of you who aren’t aware of this, anti-depressant medications (specifically SSRI (selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor) drugs) are notorious for weight gain. As hard as I tried to control this with a nutritious diet and exercise, I was not able to escape these side effects. So, while I crawled out of my depressive state, my appetite became ravenous and my waistline grew and grew until I was no longer able to fit into any of my clothes. It was a very emotional time in my life.
I chose not to weigh myself because I knew the number would likely upset me, but I had a really good idea of how much based on the size of the clothing I was not fitting in to. Aside from the emotional side to this, there was a physical piece too. To have your body change so dramatically is not easy, especially in just a few short months. I felt sluggish, tired and uncomfortable often. I remember feeling like I was carrying big heavy sand bags on my back. The heavier I got, the heavier the sand bags felt. It was emotionally and spiritually debilitating at times. The most frightening part was that I didn’t see an end in sight because I was like a bottomless pit and could not stop eating.
On an emotional level, my confidence was shot, my self-esteem had plummeted, and I was more embarrassed and uncomfortable than I had ever been about my body.
Once I began to come out of the depressive fog I was in, I was determined to heal my body. I knew that I couldn’t tolerate going on a diet to lose the weight, but I didn’t know what else to do. By sheer luck, I stumbled on the book Intuitive Eating by Evelyn Tribole & Elyse Resch. Reading this book was like a breath of fresh air! Once I began living this “no-diet” approach to life, I began to feel more hopeful for the first time in months. Within a few months of practicing Intuitive Eating, my life began to transform in ways I never thought imaginable.
I want to be clear that my life didn’t transform because I lost weight. My life transformed because my perception of how I viewed a “healthy” body changed.
This is how I redefined health for myself:
I didn’t have to be thin to be healthy.
I didn’t have to be thin to be fit.
I could develop a healthy relationship with food regardless of how many years I’d struggled.
I can love my body unconditionally.
Feeling sluggish and uncomfortable was only short term.
I can listen to my body and honor its needs on a physical and emotional level.
I am an amazingly strong woman and my experience only intensified that.
I can inspire others regardless of my weight.
Dieting will never improve your relationship with food and body the way practicing self-love and self-compassion will. Practicing Intuitive Eating and taking control of my depression were instrumental in giving me back my life after feeling so out of control with food for so many years. This former size X, now size X go-getter, is happier and has a healthier relationship with food than she ever thought possible. I eat nutritious foods; I’m healthy by medical standards; I don’t deprive or restrict myself from eating foods that I enjoy; I acknowledge daily that I’m more than my weight; and love to move my body in ways that I enjoy without being militant about it. I have found true food and body freedom and I’m so grateful!
UPDATE: April 20, 2017 – I’m happy to report that my depression is now being managed well without medication, I’ve been a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor for over two years, and am living a satisfying and happy life.
How are you feeling about your food these days? I hope that you’re feeling grounded, confident and worry-free about it. However, if you’re like most of the population, you might be worried about all the cookies you’ve been scoffing down, concerned because you keep overeating, and wondering how you’re going to lose the holiday weight once January 1 rolls around.
I hope that you’re one of the “enlightened” ones who has discovered Intuitive Eating and that those types of worries are a thing of the past. However, if you have recently discovered Intuitive Eating or have been practicing it for some time but are still struggling, you may be rattled by all the holiday food chaos.
You know what I mean. You’re trying honor your fullness but most of the time you don’t. Or, you’ve given yourself permission to eat what you want but still feel guilty (sometimes overwhelming guilty) afterwards. Or, you’re still weighing yourself and telling yourself that you’re not hung up on the number but you really are.
Wherever you are, I get it. As the expression goes, “Been there, done that!“.
If you’re practicing Intuitive Eating but still struggling with the “basics”, the holidays can be a very vulnerable time for you. Let’s face it, during the holidays there is an EXCESS of diet-talk and body bashing going on. Many mainstream dieters (even though they’d swear they’re not dieting) will be expressing their anxiety about their expanding waistlines, how they’ve had little time to exercise because of their hectic schedules, and how they plan to change all of that come January 1. Trust me I know because I hear it daily at my gym!
What I’m going to tell you is always important, but it’s even more so during this time of year. My advice is to STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE. Since many people are so food and weight obsessed, especially during the holidays, don’t be surprised if you feel tempted to go into someone else’s “dieting” lane. Let’s face it, Intuitive Eating is not exactly mainstream based on what the general population is doing. Many scoff when they hear about it, but don’t let that discourage you. The fact is that practicing Intuitive Eating is the only way to develop a balanced relationship with food and body. It’s not easy in the beginning, but if you stick with it, you will eventually discover the freedom that you’d been searching for when you were dieting. Dieting will never give you the ease and flow that you’ve craved but Intuitive Eating will.
So instead of getting whisked away and being tempted to go into someone else’s lane because you think that they have the “answer”, think again. One of the best decisions you ever made was giving up dieting and practicing Intuitive Eating. So, STAY IN YOUR OWN LANE and let them live their lives in their lane and you live your life in your lane. If your goal is to develop a balanced relationship with food and body, Intuitive Eating is the only way.
If you’ve been curious about Intuitive Eating and need help getting started, or have been trying to practice it on your own but not experiencing the freedom I’m describing, consider enrolling in my self-paced online course “Emotional Freedom from Food”. This course has gotten rave reviews and would make a great holiday gift for yourself or someone you love who is caught up in dieting and body dissatisfaction. The DailyOM offers flexible pricing for this course so you can pay as little as $10 for four content modules.
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