HELP…this clutter is making me want to binge!

Day 1 – Three bags

Day 2 – Six bags in SUV ready for donation

 

 

 

 

 

 

The above pictures capture the six (6) bags of clutter I cleared from my spare closet, sweater shelves, bedroom closet and laundry room this week. I was getting tired of looking at the overflowing shelves in my bedroom, the dusty clothes on the shelf in my laundry room and having stuff spill out of my office closet whenever I opened the door! Every time I did laundry and tried to put the clothes back on the shelves, I had to strategically move the other clothes because there was nowhere to put them all! A girl can only tolerate so much! So, I took a few hours over a span of two days and purged!

During all of this, I was thinking that this project might help me stop feeling like I wanted to move to a bigger house with more closet space. I was reminded of the words I often say to my clients in the most loving way, “If you cannot find happiness at your current weight, you will not find happiness when you lose weight.” We need to find happiness and satisfaction where we are, not when ________ happens or when we lose _____ pounds. I knew in my heart that rather than continuing to complain, I could do my part to maximize our space by purging all the crap that wasn’t serving me anymore.

I’ve never been a fan of clutter and I’ve done massive purges before, but somehow, I still had stuff lingering in my house. Ugh, I’m sure you can all relate. Well, this week I decided to turn my frustration into action and do something about it. That action resulted in packing six (6) bags of sweaters, old dresses, belts, shoes, and workout clothes for the needy. All the items are in great condition but for one reason or another (style, fit, color, etc), they no longer serve me.

This all started last week when I asked the women in my Facebook group if having clutter in their lives affected their eating. The answer was a resounding YES!! Some even said that clutter makes them binge!! Thanks to my ongoing internal work and practicing Intuitive Eating all these years, this wasn’t affecting my eating but it was affecting my mood, my energy levels, and some other areas of my life that I wasn’t even aware of until now. These are some of the realizations I had once I decided to let go of this stuff.

Holding on to things that no longer serve me is like an anchor.

These anchors weigh me down.

These anchors make me feel like I’m stuck.

These anchors don’t allow me to make room for the new things the universe is trying to teach or show me.

These anchors make me realize that there is still some shame around what was and what no longer is.

These anchors don’t allow me to truly express who I am today but express who I was years ago.

I now see that even though I thought I had released many of these things on an emotional level, until I released them on a physical level, the circle of healing was incomplete.

These anchors also reminded me that if I cannot be happy and content where I am than I won’t be happy anywhere.

These anchors helped me to see the importance of periodically assessing our lives to see what is and what isn’t serving us anymore.

So, now it’s your turn. If you have clutter in your life, how does it make you feel?

Here are some other reflective questions to ask yourself that may help you tap into those emotions.

Do you think you have things in your space (dwelling, office, car, etc.) that need purging?

Do you think that holding on to some of these things may be stunting your growth?

What do some of these things that you’re holding on to symbolize or represent?

What can you do today to minimize clutter and disarray in your space?

How do you think you’ll feel once your space is free of clutter?

If you choose to donate clothing, etc, who might benefit your generosity?

Feel free to leave a comment if this blog inspired you to take some action and release some of the things that are no longer serving you. I cannot tell you how much lighter, freer, and peaceful I feel now that this stuff has been released from my life.

Want more support? Join my online Facebook group the Diet-Free Sisterhood for daily inspiration, connection with other like-minded women, and giggles.

You Cannot See the Color of Your Eyes

First of all HAPPY NEW YEAR, lovelies!!

It’s a new year and I’m seeing a lot of people posting their 2017 resolutions and /or goals for the year. I’ve also noticed some beating themselves up for not following through already! Ugh!

While I’m a firm believer that setting goals is important, I think it’s equally important that we realize that it takes time to build ourselves up to meeting these goals. So, my suggestion is to take realistic actions to see these goals come to fruition. So, if your goal is become more fit in 2017, but you’re not fit right now or don’t have a consistent exercise regime currently in place, formulate actionable steps to make that happen. For example, instead of taking the elevator at work, take the steps more often. If you belong to a gym and want to get to the weight room or group classes more often, put your clothes in your car so you can get to the gym right before/from work, etc. Simple shifts like this are what will make your goals become a reality.

If you’ve tried these suggestions before and still have not had any luck achieving your goal and they’re still important to you, I urge you to look at the reasons why. Based on my personal experience and my time with clients is that even though they know what would help them achieve their goals, they cannot get out of their own way. In other words, they’re stuck in their old sh*t or old story! They want change but something in themselves is holding them back from moving forward.

I’m no stranger to this because I’ve been there before and know the myriad of ways that I would say one thing and do another.

I get it.

I understand the pattern and the frustration.

I empathize with the negative emotions this kind of behavior conjures up.

I remember how easy and often I would beat myself up when I would continually and yet unknowingly self-sabotage myself.

I now know that my self-sabotaging behaviors were just trying to protect me from my underlying beliefs that I WASN’T ENOUGH…strong ENOUGH, resourceful ENOUGH, perfect ENOUGH.

I NOT ENOUGHED myself into inaction.

I cringe when I think of all the time I spent trying to do it all alone.

I got tired enough of living my life in so much discord, so I got help.

Are you tired enough of living your life in pain, with frustration, and not achieving your goals?

If you are, read on.

If not, don’t waste your time because you’re not ready to receive what I have to say.

One of my mentors often says, “We cannot see the color of our own eyes.”

She is so right. It’s not possible for us to see all the ways in which we are limiting ourselves and getting in our own way! No, we cannot take a selfie on our own BS. It’s just not possible. We need someone to help us identify, in a loving and compassionate way, the places in our lives where we’re putting up road blocks so that we can consciously and bravely move them out of our way.

I have identified the six primary road blocks that used to trip me up and often do the same for my clients. This is not to say that I’m 100% free of these behaviors now, but I’m able to recognize them and have kick ass tools in my toolbox to help me overcome them so I can keep moving forward instead of staying stuck and dissatisified.

They are:

  • Not Enoughness
  • Emotional Triggers
  • Perfectionism
  • Comparisonitis
  • Self-sabotage
  • Forgiveness

If any of these areas speak to you, I feel you! Remember, I used to be a slave to this kind of stuff and know how debilitating it can be. Freeing myself from that place took a lot of introspection, guidance from grounded professionals, lots and lots of courage, and learning how to be compassionate and forgiving with myself.

My Going Beneath the Surface: A Masterclass to Claim Your Enoughness is an intensive, loving and all-encompassing masterclass to help you finally claim that you are enough as you are. I taught this class in the fall and the women raved about how their lives changed and how much more aware they were in discerning their own NOT ENOUGH BS.

This master class will give you the tools, tips and awareness you need to move forward in your relationship with yourself which will have a profound impact on your relationship with food and body. No, it will not solve all your problems, but it will give you a great jump start on making significant transformations in your life. 

Early Bird pricing of *only* $227 is valid through 1/9/17. Regular price is $297. The masterclass experience begins on 1/16/17. To ensure that everyone has the proper attention, SEATING IS LIMITED. For all the details, click here.

Fabulous Diet-Free Holiday Tips

The holidays can be a joyous time. However for people that have been struggling all year with their weight and to feel good in their body’s, it poses some anxiety. For many, the holidays are filled with stress about spending too much time with “challenging” family members, eating excessive amounts of food, and insecurities about putting on weight. Of course, there is also the stress about money! I so get this because I used to stress to the max about these things, too. I’m happy to say that I don’t anymore and I’m going to give you some tips so you don’t have to either.

Tips to thrive during the holidays:

1. Send love. I don’t know any family that doesn’t have at least one “challenging” family member. You know the one who points out in a room full of other family members and friends that you’ve gained weight. Remember your secret weapon when dealing with these people is always love. So, instead of diving into the nearest chocolate cake because you’re feeling embarrassed, ashamed and angry, pause before “defending” yourself and then send them love. Believe it or not, they think they’re helping you by pointing out what you likely already know. Sending love can diffuse negative emotions within seconds.

 

2. Stop controlling. Instead of trying to control your food, give yourself permission. I know it sounds crazy, but restricting is what is making you want the food even more. When we think that something is off limits, this intensifies our desire to have it. So, stop with the rules and restricting. There are no prizes given out at the end of the year for how often you restricted food only to binge later! Also, understand that 99% of the population overeats during the holidays, so know that you’re not alone. That’s not an excuse, but it’s important to understand this so you don’t feel isolated.

 

3. Focus on the insides. If you have gained weight this year or since you last saw your family, understand that your awesomeness, authenticity and lovely personality are not defined by your weight. In fact, this is true for everyone. So rather than focusing on how much weight a person lost or gained since you last saw them, instead focus on how much you’ve missed them, how good they make you feel when you’re around them, and being mindful about your time together so you can intensify your experience.

I hope that these tips help to ease some of the stress you may be feeling about the holidays. If you need more support and tips like this, hop on over to my Facebook group Intuitive Eating & Body Loving Rockstars.

Got emotional triggers?

Let’s talk about emotional triggers for a few minutes.

Wood Texture Background. Vintage and Grunge style.

Emotional triggers are things that make you react or behave in negative ways. It could be that something that someone says to you or to someone else that triggers a negative response in you. For example, it could be how you react when someone talks to you, directs you or even criticizes you. Or, it could be something you experience when you watch a movie or listen carefully to the lyrics of a song. So many things can make us react in ways that we might not necessarily be happy about.

I’ve worked super hard in the last few months at recognizing some of my emotional triggers and while I’ve come so far, I still have a long way to go. In fact, I’m learning that there will always be triggers around for me and for most people. However, how easily we are able to recognize when we are triggered and how we react to the triggers and is what really matters is what I believe is key in overcoming them. At least that has been my experience.

When I used to stuff my face at the simplest little things, I would feel so awful afterwards. NOT so much because I emotionally ate or even binged (although that was quite upsetting), I would be more upset at the fact that I wasn’t able to recognize when I was begin triggered. Or, even when I knew I was triggered, I didn’t take the time to take a step back, collect my thoughts and think about my behavior before I actually responded. Instead, I would react from a place of anger, hurt, frustration, loneliness or abandonment and this never made me happy. While it’s perfectly normal to feel those types of emotions, for me, it wasn’t okay to react in negative ways around them every single time I was triggered. It was exhausting and I often felt like I should know better not to react in such a manner, but nothing ever seemed to change. Reacting so often also made me feel OUT OF CONTROL and I loathed feeling that way! So, you know what, when I felt that way, I would eat more to numb those feelings!

Sound familiar?

As my dear friend, Elysha Maughan, says, “One way to reframe emotional triggers is to see them as opportunities for growth.” When we are emotionally triggered, this is an indication that we need healing in a particular area of our lives. So, it’s really our body’s way of telling us to look more closely at something. It’s telling us to dig a little deeper.

Isn’t it just amazing how are bodies are always looking out for us?

It is possible to heal from being over reactive. I used to get so pissed off when people used to tell me that I was over reacting to things! In fact, that was an emotional trigger for me!

After having done so much work in this area with my own personal development coach, and discovering what the source was for so many of these triggers, it’s getting easier for to me to heal from them.

However, the first step in doing this was acknowledging that these emotional triggers existed in my life in the first place!

Some questions to ponder:

What kinds of emotional triggers are you struggling with?

Are you able to recognize your emotional triggers?

How do you react when you’re emotionally triggered?

I’d love to hear form you! It would be so great and much appreciated if you’d leave a comment below.

Are we shaped by our thoughts?

I was surprised to see that this image was shared 723 times (and it increases by the minute) on Facebook this week. That’s a lot of sharing! I think that’s an all time record for an image that I’ve created. Obviously, we are shapedthis quote from Buddha is very powerful and resonated with many people, including myself.

Have you found this to be true in your own life? Do you believe that ‘we become what we think’? I will be honest, I didn’t always believe this was true. I used to believe that talk like that was kinda ‘woo-wooish’ and didn’t think that my thoughts affected me on such a profound level. I used to believe that whatever was going to happen would happen despite my thoughts. I’ve learned over the years that it does matter…in fact, our thoughts can be life changing.  (more…)