There should be a comment bubble in this image saying, 'Is that how I really look?'
Countless times I've heard clients say this out loud when they see themselves in pictures. In full transparency, even though I've come a long way in neutralizing how I feel about my body, I've said this too! We are all HUMAN so responses like this are expected sometimes.
For many ex-dieters who've yet to heal their relationships with their bodies, looking at pictures amplifies diet culture thoughts like,
'My body can't really look like this."
'Am I really this old?'
'What happened to my body?'
'This intuitive eating thing has gone too far!'
'I have to fix this.'
Seeing ourselves in pictures puts us in a unique position. When we timidly gaze at ourselves (if we look at all!) in pictures, we become the observer and critical judge rather than the person who lived the experience. So, we naturally shift into objectifying our bodies hence the critical response we experience.
While a few key things like lighting, clothing, position/angle, etc. could contribute to how we look in pictures, those things are usually not remembered when critical thoughts about the body start amplifying.
Instead, the picture often becomes a sign that there is something wrong with the body and it needs to be 'fixed'. For some, these critical thoughts have gotten so loud that it stops them from being in pictures altogether. Or they'll trepidly agree to be in pictures but they won't look at them, so they never have to feel the discomfort of looking at their body.
Sadly, whatever experience was captured at the moment the picture was taken gets eclipsed by criticism and judgment.
How can you feel better about seeing yourself in pictures?
You may not like what I'm about to say, so brace yourself.
One of the best ways to start feeling better about seeing your body in pictures is to take more pictures.
Like neutralizing 'fear' or 'trigger' foods with food habituation (food habituation is a form of neurobiological learning in which repeated eating of the same food causes a decrease in behavioral and physiologic responses (Epstein 2009)) the same concept can be used for picture taking.
I know that many of you are thinking that I'm nuts! (Ha-ha! I get that a lot!)
If this is you, I hear you and understand why you'd feel this way. After all, why would anyone want to do something that causes so much discomfort?
It's because, like habituation, this is the way to decrease the behavioral and physiologic responses to seeing yourself in pictures. In other words, it helps to neutralize them.
Because, the truth is, you deserve to capture your experiences in pictures without all the criticism and judgment.
Keep moving forward by...
Recognizing that any critical thoughts you have about your body are a byproduct of diet culture conditioning and not because you are deficient in any way.
Know that what you see in photos says nothing about who you are as a person.
Know that you can have a different relationship with your body that is built on respect and neutrality instead of loathing and shame.
Do you struggle when you see your body in pictures? Know that you don’t have to do this journey alone.