Once again, the holidays are around the corner which means that if we're lucky, many of our favorite holiday foods are too!
While eating past a comfortable fullness level can happen at any time of year, it's fair to say that it's more prominent during this time of year.
Eating past a comfortable fullness is never a nice feeling because of the physical sensations it causes in the body, but they do pass.
Do you know what makes these physical sensations worse?
Coupling them with judgment and stories about what eating past fullness means about us.
Many are unkind to themselves when they eat past a comfortable fullness and will describe themselves as 'disgusting', and 'out of control' and believe that they are a 'failure' or lack self-control as if they have done something truly terrible.
Let's get something straight. Eating past fullness happens to all of us sometimes. Remember, if you are new to intuitive eating, this will likely happen more often. This is natural after long periods of deprivation and rules around food.
Diet culture and religious dogma have taught us that eating past fullness is 'bad' and even 'gluttonous'. So many of us fear fullness and have internalized that it should be avoided at all costs.
The reality is that fullness is simply a physical sensation that the body experiences similar to feeling hot or cold, feeling sleepy, or needing to pee.
It's only when we attach judgment to the physical sensation that we get into murky waters.
Does that make sense?
Whatever the reason, if you are someone who judges yourself for eating past a comfortable fullness, I invite you to lean into this physical and emotional discomfort from a different perspective. Instead of jumping into judgment, neutrally observe the experience.
Even if your immediate response is judgment (which is okay), take a deep breath to notice how the judgment feels in your body and then lovingly and consciously choose something different. You may need to do this often, but that's totally okay too.
Even consider some compassionate, affirming statements like,
"I am aware that I'm full now, and that's okay."
"I'm noticing my discomfort and I'm choosing not to judge it."
"Eating past fullness is something I did, it's not something I am."
Statements like this remind us that we're not defined by these actions.
When we begin to untangle the physical sensations of fullness (or any other eating experience) from the layers of guilt, shame, and judgment, we open the door to learning more about ourselves, especially our patterns and habits.
Now, doesn't that sound like a more pleasant and satisfying place to be?
Do you struggle with eating past fullness and with the judgment that often follows it? I believe you can have a different experience. Remember, I'm here to take your hand if you need some guidance. This journey was not meant to be done alone.
#1 Tip To Stop Cringing When Seeing Yourself in Pictures
There should be a comment bubble in this image saying, 'Is that how I really look?'
Countless times I've heard clients say this out loud when they see themselves in pictures. In full transparency, even though I've come a long way in neutralizing how I feel about my body, I've said this too! We are all HUMAN so responses like this are expected sometimes.
For many ex-dieters who've yet to heal their relationships with their bodies, looking at pictures amplifies diet culture thoughts like,
'My body can't really look like this."
'Am I really this old?'
'What happened to my body?'
'This intuitive eating thing has gone too far!'
'I have to fix this.'
Seeing ourselves in pictures puts us in a unique position. When we timidly gaze at ourselves (if we look at all!) in pictures, we become the observer and critical judge rather than the person who lived the experience. So, we naturally shift into objectifying our bodies hence the critical response we experience.
While a few key things like lighting, clothing, position/angle, etc. could contribute to how we look in pictures, those things are usually not remembered when critical thoughts about the body start amplifying.
Instead, the picture often becomes a sign that there is something wrong with the body and it needs to be 'fixed'. For some, these critical thoughts have gotten so loud that it stops them from being in pictures altogether. Or they'll trepidly agree to be in pictures but they won't look at them, so they never have to feel the discomfort of looking at their body.
Sadly, whatever experience was captured at the moment the picture was taken gets eclipsed by criticism and judgment.
How can you feel better about seeing yourself in pictures?
You may not like what I'm about to say, so brace yourself.
One of the best ways to start feeling better about seeing your body in pictures is to take more pictures.
Like neutralizing 'fear' or 'trigger' foods with food habituation (food habituation is a form of neurobiological learning in which repeated eating of the same food causes a decrease in behavioral and physiologic responses (Epstein 2009)) the same concept can be used for picture taking.
I know that many of you are thinking that I'm nuts! (Ha-ha! I get that a lot!)
If this is you, I hear you and understand why you'd feel this way. After all, why would anyone want to do something that causes so much discomfort?
It's because, like habituation, this is the way to decrease the behavioral and physiologic responses to seeing yourself in pictures. In other words, it helps to neutralize them.
Because, the truth is, you deserve to capture your experiences in pictures without all the criticism and judgment.
Keep moving forward by...
Recognizing that any critical thoughts you have about your body are a byproduct of diet culture conditioning and not because you are deficient in any way.
Know that what you see in photos says nothing about who you are as a person.
Know that you can have a different relationship with your body that is built on respect and neutrality instead of loathing and shame.
Do you struggle when you see your body in pictures? Know that you don’t have to do this journey alone.
Is 'fat but fit' a myth?
Last week, in one of the professional groups where I belong, someone posted an article about fitness and fat, specifically as it relates to heart disease.
Even though this article had a very definitive bottom line,
"What we see is that the risk factor burden increases by weight category. Obese people have the highest burden of associated risk factors. That remains true according to the activity level,"
I was able to discern that the research was lacking important parameters that very likely would have changed its overall findings.
The article does say this, "This is a cross sectional study -- all we can talk about is associations, we cannot talk about causality," This is very important because this is verifying that they cannot prove with certainty that the associated parameters like BMI (Body Mass Index) category (i.e, "ob*se and "over*eight") was the cause of the cardiovascular disease. As a reminder, BMI was never intended to be used to measure health, but I will mention it throughout as it pertains to the study.
I won't pretend that I'm a research expert, but I do know from my professional training that articles like this are weight-biased and detrimental to our health.
It's weight-biased because the research is missing critical key parameters. For example, it doesn't mention a person's genetic predisposition to heart disease (or other conditions like diabetes, etc.) their previous dieting history, mental health history, or exposure to weight stigma (which often leads to increased binge eating, higher mortality rates, depression, anxiety, addiction, etc.). All of these factors may influence a person's overall well-being and that matters significantly. Without this information, this study is biased.
However, what bothers me most of all is this biased study could easily frighten someone who is in a higher BMI category to start dieting again because they believe that it is the 'responsible' thing to do to reduce their risk of heart disease, etc. This is something I hear all the time from my clients and what I wrote about in last weeks message.
My clients, and women I support in my No Diet Sisterhood, often send me similar articles asking me what I think, etc. because they feel scared after reading articles like this. After carefully reading the articles, to date, my answer has always been the same: the article is weight-biased and dieting isn't the answer to achieving good 'health'.
Using scare tactics as a means to encourage people to exercise (or do anything else) is ineffective and often moves people further away from their goals because they feel hopeless. This hopelessness often causes inaction and may lead to depression and other negative health outcomes.
The Health at Every Size (HAES)/intuitive eating approach to movement is more compassionate and more effective. Instead of stigmatizing and fear-mongering people who are in higher BMI categories to engage in movement because it's "healthy", they encourage cultivating sustainable self-care practices and habits that are realistic and individualized. This way they will likely feel better, improve their metabolic health, and live more joyful lives. In fact, research shows that non-stigmatizing interventions are much more effective for altering health outcomes than anything else.
Studies like this, the crushing judgments and rigidity of diet culture, perfectionism, guilt-tripping, and not understanding that movement is a self-care practice all keep people away from movement. Most think it's a time management issue or that they're "too lazy". But, when we dig a little deeper, they discover that what they really fear is that they won’t be able to cultivate a healthy relationship with movement because they cannot cut through the emotional barriers needed to get there. This is definitely what the alumni members in my Joyful Movement at Last! program have discovered.
For anyone who struggles with articles like this that make them second-guess the path they're on with intuitive eating, you don't need to anymore. Now that you've been introduced to these concepts, you'll more easily recognize that many articles like this are weight-biased and use ineffective scare tactics. Be sure to question "research" and don't allow it to change your course of action, especially if your course of action is moving you closer to the freedom you deserve.
The bottom line...
If you want to feel better and make movement a priority in your life but are feeling 'stuck', I encourage you to take my new FREE quiz What's Getting in Your Way of Exercising with Ease? to find out what's really holding you back. I promise you, it's likely not what you think.
Helping women to cultivate more compassionate, self-care focused habits like giving themselves full permission to eat without the emotional restriction (guilt, worry, etc.), integrating gentle nutrition into your daily life, and rediscovering movement without slipping back into diet mentality is my jam.
Schedule some time with me so we can have a conversation around this so you can finally stop worrying! You don't have to do this alone. Getting this sorted out will make a difference in your life.
Why Losing Weight for Medical Reasons Still Isn’t the Answer to Getting ‘Healthy’
Time and time again I hear clients and read comments in online spaces about people feeling that they need to lose weight for 'health' reasons.
Some may have even been told by a medical professional that weight loss is the only way to correct their declining health issues.
Years ago, when my cholesterol was consistently going up and my high blood pressure was undiagnosed, my doctors had recommended weight loss too, so I understand how concerning this can be.
If you've been told you need to lose weight because your metabolic health (i.e., blood pressure, cholesterol, blood sugar) is declining, I want to share a few important points as a reframe.
First, you've done nothing wrong to make any of it happen despite what you may have been told or what may have been implied. Remember that a previous history with dieting, genetics, movement, and stress play a significant role in this equation.
Second, instead of blaming your body, thank and appreciate it for giving you some important information that you can now address and begin to heal from.
Third, remember that even if weight loss was going to solve all your health issues, how would you maintain that loss without engaging in deprivation, food restriction, and compensatory exercise habits?
Fourth, while I know that research isn't very 'sexy', there are plenty of research studies indicating that following intuitive eating/Health At Every Size (HAES) often helps to normalize metabolic health naturally without dieting or restricting.
Fifth, I get that the knee-jerk reaction is to immediately think that losing weight is the answer that will solve all your worries, research also shows that weight loss is not sustainable long-term and also that weight stigma plays a significant role in overall health outcomes.
Sixth, reflecting on your own experiences with intentional weight loss will remind you that it's not typically sustainable and even when it is, it's with tremendous effort and often leads to poor emotional health. Let's remember that our mental health is equally as important as our metabolic health.
The bottom line...
If you want to work toward rediscovering balance in every sense of the word, my professional advice is to stay on your intuitive eating/HAES path. A recent diagnosis or health scare is NOT the time to diet (nor is any other time). Instead, it is the time to start or continue cultivating more compassionate, self-care focused habits that are sustainable. Over time, that is what will very likely bring your levels back within a normal range again and also improve your emotional health.
Helping women to cultivate more compassionate, self-care focused habits like giving themselves full permission to eat without the emotional restriction (guilt, worry, etc.), integrating gentle nutrition into your daily life, and rediscovering movement without slipping back into diet mentality is my jam.
Schedule some time with me so we can have a conversation around this so you can finally stop worrying! You don't have to do this alone. Getting this sorted out will make a difference in your life.
8 Tips to Help Manage Emotional Fatigue During Tumultuous Times
f you're anything like me, you've felt like you've been on an emotional roller coaster since March. Let's break this down for a minute. First it was COVID-19 and all that came along with that. Now it's the justifiable protests over the George Floyd murder. And, if all of that isn't enough, we are all starting to come out of our 10 week-ish hibernation from the horrific COVID-19. Wow, right?!
Would you agree that there is a lot going on right now?
For the first time in many weeks, I woke up on Monday morning feeling emotionally depleted.
When I reflected on my week, I realized that I was putting more effort into my reflection work, learning and researching than I was into my self-care. I now see that if I want to feel better and remain sane, something has to change. In an effort to right the wrongs in the world, I was trying to consume lots of information in a short period of time. I was reminded that this isn't a race but a marathon with no official finish line.
This applies to our intuitive eating practices too! If we remain open and honest with ourselves, we can always be in a place of learning. As we grow and age, we will always have new things to explore about our bodies and about our eating practices because growth and age change us, and they are supposed to. Staying open to this concept is what makes acceptance possible.
Now more than ever self-care must take a front seat. As @glowmaven said so well, "Self-care is critical to restore ourselves and to move past survival mode and into thrive mode." As humans, there is a lot coming at all of us all the time! The way to shield ourselves from it so we don't feel depleted is to ensure our self-care "batteries" are continually being charged. I'm sharing a few tips to help make this easier:
Create boundaries around social media and the news
If you're one who is easily sucked into the social media vortex (which I am guilty of sometimes!), literally set up time parameters around it. To help with this, set timers on your cell phone that cue you to get off Facebook or _________ (insert social media or news cast here) once the timer goes off. And no snoozing the alarm! If you have a timer on your oven or a standalone timer, you can set that timer for X number of minutes. I like this idea because it forces you to get out of your seat to turn it off!
Keep asking your body what it needs
This is always imperative to thriving with your intuitive eating practice and with your body image work. It's not possible to improve your relationship with food or with your body if you don't know what it needs So, if you need to set timers on your phone to remind yourself to do a quick body scan to check in with yourself, do it. Over time, this will become more organic so you may not need the reminders so much or at all going forward.
Lean into the emotional discomfort with more self-compassion
In regard to the #BLM movement, many of us are realizing that things that we've been doing or saying have possibly been hurting others. Heck, as a Brown, middle-aged woman who has been active in social justice circles (and this work is social justice minded) for a while now, I still have and always will have biases which are normal and part of the human condition. Guess what, you do too. This is hard to swallow but it's necessary in order to grow, move forward and hopefully be a better ally and role model for others. The way to manage this is to load up on the self-compassion and forgive yourself because that's the only way to remain open and avoid spiraling into a shame and blame cycle.
Go at your own pace and beware of comparing
This is always good advice and applies to intuitive eating, body image work, social justice work, etc. We all have our unique journeys with incredibly unique circumstances. And, in all of that, some also have trauma that they are trying to understand and heal. All that affects our ability to learn, cope and respond in an effective manner. So, go easy on yourself and do your best not to compare your journey to anyone else's now or ever.
Step away when you need to
Give yourself permission to step away from anything that is causing you anxiety, making you lose sleep, or affecting your mental health, etc. I don't think that means you need to step away from anything that makes you uncomfortable, but it does mean that instead of internalizing it, you can get curious about it instead. However, you are in charge of your body and you have to do what you feel called to do. If you find yourself retreating more than you'd like to, I invite you to consider the reasons why because I believe that's likely where the growth opportunity is.
Take a break to laugh!
Now that things are loosening up and many states and countries are allowing some small gatherings, if you're comfortable going out, try to make time to be with loved ones and friends that lift you up. This is a great way to recharge your battery so you can keep being the fabulous person you are. Also, on a side note, I just discovered TikTok and when I need a giggle break, that's where I go for a good laugh!Do your part and trust that it is enough
Be realistic and acknowledge that there is only so much one person can do. Imagine how we could all benefit if everyone did just a little bit to acknowledge their privilege, biases, etc. ? The point is that what may seem “little” will add up and ripple throughout. If we believe that the “little” we are doing isn’t “enough” we may retreat and do nothing. I’m sure you would agree that’s not the answer. So, do what you can when you can and remain open to what is being presented to you. If it shows up for you, consider that it may be an invitation from the universe to look more closely. Refer back to tip #5 above for more on this.
Hang out with us for support
If you're not already part of my online Facebook community, join the No-Diet Sisterhood and follow me on Instagram. There is so much to learn on social media if it's managed properly (refer back to tip #1 above).
Your turn...
How are you doing with the recent events?
Has your self-care suffered during COVID and over the past two weeks?
Wherever you are and whatever you're feeling, I sincerely hope that some of these tips are useful for you.
Was this message helpful?
If you appreciate the work that I do, you can support my ability to do more of it by making a one-time donation or a recurring donation. I also accept Venmo payments @AntidietCoach. Thank you in advance for your support.
Does a Lack of Self-Love and "Ob*sity" Cause Disease? - A Love Letter to Jillian Michaels
As usual, it's January and the dieting industry is in full swing promoting their diets, "lifestyles", detoxes and whatever else they call their intentional weight loss crap. Remember, research indicates that intentional weight loss, regardless of what your weight, is not sustainable long-term.
Today, I want to talk about the concept that self-love can help us control our weight and possibly prevent illness.
I'll admit that years ago I used to believe that BS too because that's all I ever heard so, naturally, I believed it. I no longer feel shameful about this though because as I continue to grow as an anti-diet professional, I now understand and acknowledge that weight is a very complex science. I've also learned that all the "self-love" in the world isn't going to make someone who isn't supposed to weigh ______ (insert low weight here) remain at that weight long-term (3-5 years or more) unless they are likely going to extreme measures (like disordered eating or other disordered behaviors and/or engaging in compulsive exercise, etc.) to maintain it. (You can read more about that in my blog Have You Ever Tried a Self-Love Diet?.)
What got me so fired up about this topic again was reading the recent article Jillian Michaels is Being Criticized For Body-Shaming Lizzo where Jillian Michaels talked about self-love as it relates to our health. She says,
“As I’ve stated repeatedly, we are all beautiful, worthy, and equally deserving. I also feel strongly that we love ourselves enough to acknowledge there are serious health consequences that come with ob*sity - heart disease, diabetes, cancer to name only a few," Michaels wrote. 'I would never wish these for ANYONE and I would hope we prioritize our health because we LOVE ourselves and our bodies.'"
Her words could easily throw someone into a downward spiral of shame and blame and that's never productive, especially for healing. What people struggling with illness need is affordable and accessible medical care (including educational services and resources), compassion, and support, NOT shame or blame.
Also, to imply that a lack of self-love is what drives illness due to a lack of acknowledgment that it could cause illness is also shaming. I believe what she's saying is that if someone loved themselves enough to acknowledge that fat is what's causing these illnesses, they would lose weight.
I know first-hand how damaging words like these can have on a person in a larger body because many of my clients blame their ailments (from sleep apnea, weak knees, GERD, autoimmune diseases, etc.) on their weight when in fact, all of these ailments can also be found in people at lower weights. Words like this can also be counter-productive because they often scare people back into the never-ending diet-binge cycle which often cause more weight gain.
It also makes the assumption that weight can be controlled and that even if someone is at a higher weight, there is something inherently wrong with that when there isn’t. And, even if weight was the cause for illness, dieting to become thinner has its own potential physical and emotional health risks. Her words are not based on the truth which indicates that weight science is complex.
Many factors including the role of genetics, socioeconomic conditions, previous dieting history, environmental factors, medications, and fat stigma, etc. are all part of these complexities. Sadly, there was no mention of any of these important factors which isn’t surprising, but nonetheless disappointing and fatphobic.
To illustrate this point, remember that her partner from the Biggest Loser show Bob Harper, nearly died from a heart attack in 2017 even though he was extremely fit, appeared to be “healthy”, and maintained a lean body. After his heart attack, he told CNN this,
"Genetics does play a part in this. I'm a guy who lives a very healthy lifestyle, works out all the time, but there were things going on inside my body that I needed to be more aware of."
It's also concerning because she's assuming that "ob*sity" (* used because the “O” word is a BMI term and BMI was not intended to measure a person's health) causes these illnesses. Based on the causation vs. correlation theory, illness cannot be directly caused by a person's weight. Lindo Bacon, Ph.D. says it best in the article Fat Is Not the Problem—Fat Stigma Is,
"It is true that many diseases are more commonly found in heavier people. However, that doesn’t mean that weight itself causes disease. Blaming fatness for heart disease is similar to blaming yellow teeth for lung cancer, rather than considering that smoking might play a role in both."
The point she and many other diet-promoting, fear-mongering gurus are missing is that people of all weights, shapes, and sizes may fall victim to illness despite what diet culture propagates to us 24/7. None of us need to hear anymore short-sighted, weight stigmatizing "experts" shaming and blaming and offering their one-size-fits-all weight loss and/or “lifestyle” plans. After all, isn’t that what’s been preached for decades with dismal outcomes?
What we do need is a paradigm shift from weight-focused approaches to more sustainable self-care practices that will help people improve their physical, emotional and psychological health without weight cycling, shame, blame, and assumptions.
If you're blaming yourself for a health condition or feeling conflicted because you love the idea of intuitive eating but believe you need to lose weight for "health reasons" (or based on a practitioners medical advice or other fat-shaming), please reach out to me for a complimentary connection call. I can help you by providing support, mindset tips, resources, and helping you to develop individualized and sustainable self-care practices that will likely improve your overall health so you can feel better and live your life joyfully instead of living in fear.
Some journaling prompts to explore:
Do you worry that you may contract an illness because of your weight?
Do you blame yourself for any chronic illness you may already have?
If you do blame yourself, how could that be affecting your physical, psychological and emotional health?
Where can you soften the edges with self-compassionate so you can focus more on self-care habits instead of self-blame?
If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.
We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.
I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.