Once again, the holidays are around the corner which means that if we're lucky, many of our favorite holiday foods are too!
While eating past a comfortable fullness level can happen at any time of year, it's fair to say that it's more prominent during this time of year.
Eating past a comfortable fullness is never a nice feeling because of the physical sensations it causes in the body, but they do pass.
Do you know what makes these physical sensations worse?
Coupling them with judgment and stories about what eating past fullness means about us.
Many are unkind to themselves when they eat past a comfortable fullness and will describe themselves as 'disgusting', and 'out of control' and believe that they are a 'failure' or lack self-control as if they have done something truly terrible.
Let's get something straight. Eating past fullness happens to all of us sometimes. Remember, if you are new to intuitive eating, this will likely happen more often. This is natural after long periods of deprivation and rules around food.
Diet culture and religious dogma have taught us that eating past fullness is 'bad' and even 'gluttonous'. So many of us fear fullness and have internalized that it should be avoided at all costs.
The reality is that fullness is simply a physical sensation that the body experiences similar to feeling hot or cold, feeling sleepy, or needing to pee.
It's only when we attach judgment to the physical sensation that we get into murky waters.
Does that make sense?
Whatever the reason, if you are someone who judges yourself for eating past a comfortable fullness, I invite you to lean into this physical and emotional discomfort from a different perspective. Instead of jumping into judgment, neutrally observe the experience.
Even if your immediate response is judgment (which is okay), take a deep breath to notice how the judgment feels in your body and then lovingly and consciously choose something different. You may need to do this often, but that's totally okay too.
Even consider some compassionate, affirming statements like,
"I am aware that I'm full now, and that's okay."
"I'm noticing my discomfort and I'm choosing not to judge it."
"Eating past fullness is something I did, it's not something I am."
Statements like this remind us that we're not defined by these actions.
When we begin to untangle the physical sensations of fullness (or any other eating experience) from the layers of guilt, shame, and judgment, we open the door to learning more about ourselves, especially our patterns and habits.
Now, doesn't that sound like a more pleasant and satisfying place to be?
Do you struggle with eating past fullness and with the judgment that often follows it? I believe you can have a different experience. Remember, I'm here to take your hand if you need some guidance. This journey was not meant to be done alone.
Despite What We've Been Told, Hunger Isn't a Bad Thing
Yours truly unapologetically savoring a snack in Italy this summer!
Have you ever heard, "Wow, you've got a big appetite!" or "Are you going to eat all that?"
I'm raising my hand because I have!
In fact, some of my most vivid childhood memories are when someone (mainly my mother) commented about how much food I had on my plate. I don't blame her because she was also a victim of diet culture, but nonetheless, I know that it negatively affected my relationship with food. I talk about this in my recent podcast interview with Chris Sandel of Seven Health.
Comments like these often make us feel shameful and embarrassed about how much food we desire and/or eat. In some cases, comments like this may even lead to rebellious eating.
Thanks to diet culture, we've been told that honoring our body's hunger cues is problematic.
Diet culture tells us that:
Eating is okay when it's only being used for fuel
Eating is okay when you only eat as much as you 'need'
Eating is okay provided you're eating only when you're physically hungry (or else it's considered gluttonous)
Eating shouldn't be used to help us soothe our emotions
Do you know what messages like this do?
They disrupt our ability to truly trust our bodies, specifically our hunger. A lack of body trust often makes us feel unsafe in our bodies. This lack of trust also interferes with our body sensations. So, our bodies may be giving us hunger signals but our minds will fight hard to override these cues because they've learned that not following the rules is bad, especially for women!
Don't be fooled and think that overriding these cues (which is also emotionally draining) means that you refrain from eating, although it may in extreme cases. How this usually plays out in our daily lives is,
Not eating as much food as the body actually needs for physical and emotional reasons
Not eating the foods that the body truly desires leading to feelings of dissatisfaction
More often than not, eating past a comfortable fullness
Increased stress and anxiety around food (which may cause digestive issues)
Increased fear of weight gain and thoughts of restricting
In the end, if we trusted our hunger as much as we trust our need to go to the bathroom, disordered eating wouldn't affect such a huge percentage of the population!
If you're someone who doubts, berates, or belittles themselves because they've been told or believe they eat 'too much', eat 'too often', or eat for the 'wrong reasons', that's all diet culture conditioning that can be unlearned.
Despite what diet culture dictates, our bodies know what they need, and they can be trusted! Keep tuning in, honoring your body’s cues, and unapologetically savoring every bite and wait for ‘magic’ to unfold.
Want eating and body image to be easier? I know I can help.
What We Don’t Need During This Pandemic
I've seen sh*t everywhere about eating and weight gain due to this crisis. Memes about eating X instead of Y to avoid weight gain. Or fear mongering about eating "too" much sugar... blah, blah, etc. In addition, many are worried that they’re eating to comfort themselves (aka “emotionally” eating) too often. Others are out of sorts because they cannot go to their gym to workout. I also understand that some may want to try to control their food because that's all they feel they can control during this pandemic. Please know that I understand and appreciate all of these fears. While these fears are expected because the world is obsessed with weight and staying "in shape", it doesn't help anyone, especially those recovering from disordered eating or from an eating disorder.
While these messages are sometimes meant to be funny or "helpful", they could be hindering your recovery in the following ways:
1) They reinforce the belief that weight gain and fat are bad which perpetuates fatphobia and weight stigma.
2) They reinforce the diet culture message that our value, attractiveness and health are tied to our weight which isn't true.
3) They reinforce that there is a "right" way to grieve which doesn't allow us the grace and space to go inward to discern what our individual needs are.
Please allow yourself the space you need to get through this crisis without ruminating on the fears of weight gain because the gym is closed or because you're cooped up inside eating more "comfort" foods than you're comfortable with.
We're all in a "do what you gotta do" mode and we needn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about it, ever. There is nothing wrong with finding comfort in eating, lying around being "unproductive", crying or anything else you may need to be doing right now. In terms of your food and body image are concerned, whatever you're choosing is okay and there needn't be any judgment around it. We need to remember that while we don’t know exactly when this will end, we do know that it won’t last forever.
Our jobs right now are to:
Follow the safety and CDC guidelines in our respective areas
Be kind and compassionate to ourselves and others
Have intense gratitude that we're alive
Find opportunities and/or use our gifts in the midst of the rubble to help ourselves and others get through this safely
That is the only way the world is going to heal from this.
Now more than ever, we need to keep trusting and listening to our bodies because they are in shock and need us to care for them. We need to trust that whatever we're doing is what we need to do to survive this.
If this is you...
If you're struggling and are noticing you're counting carbs, points, compulsively exercising, or restricting in any other way, I urge you to be curious instead of judgmental. If you know it's not what you want to do but you don't have the proper support in place to change your behavior, please schedule a connection call with me. We can schedule a private session(s) to talk through it and get you back on track with your intuitive eating practice. We can even schedule a meal support session if you're feeling shaky eating on your own.
When things settle down, and they will eventually, we'll all get back to our lives and be so proud that we allowed ourselves to do whatever was necessary to thrive during this unprecedented time in all of our lives.
Before you go…I'm cooking up something great to help support my followers who are struggling with food, body image and catastrophic thinking during this crisis. Please respond to a short 3-question survey so I know what you need. I will have more information including payment details and expected outcomes for you asap!