Despite What We've Been Told, Hunger Isn't a Bad Thing

Yours truly unapologetically savoring a snack in Italy this summer!

Have you ever heard, "Wow, you've got a big appetite!" or "Are you going to eat all that?"

I'm raising my hand because I have!

In fact, some of my most vivid childhood memories are when someone (mainly my mother) commented about how much food I had on my plate. I don't blame her because she was also a victim of diet culture, but nonetheless, I know that it negatively affected my relationship with food. I talk about this in my recent podcast interview with Chris Sandel of Seven Health. 

Comments like these often make us feel shameful and embarrassed about how much food we desire and/or eat. In some cases, comments like this may even lead to rebellious eating. 

Thanks to diet culture, we've been told that honoring our body's hunger cues is problematic. 

Diet culture tells us that:

• Eating is okay when it's only being used for fuel 

• Eating is okay when you only eat as much as you 'need'

• Eating is okay provided you're eating only when you're physically hungry (or else it's considered gluttonous)

• Eating shouldn't be used to help us soothe our emotions

Do you know what messages like this do?

They disrupt our ability to truly trust our bodies, specifically our hunger. A lack of body trust often makes us feel unsafe in our bodies. This lack of trust also interferes with our body sensations. So, our bodies may be giving us hunger signals but our minds will fight hard to override these cues because they've learned that not following the rules is bad, especially for women!

Don't be fooled and think that overriding these cues (which is also emotionally draining) means that you refrain from eating, although it may in extreme cases. How this usually plays out in our daily lives is,

• Not eating as much food as the body actually needs for physical and emotional reasons

• Not eating the foods that the body truly desires leading to feelings of dissatisfaction

• More often than not, eating past a comfortable fullness

• Increased stress and anxiety around food (which may cause digestive issues)

• Increased fear of weight gain and thoughts of restricting 

In the end, if we trusted our hunger as much as we trust our need to go to the bathroom, disordered eating wouldn't affect such a huge percentage of the population! 

If you're someone who doubts, berates, or belittles themselves because they've been told or believe they eat 'too much', eat 'too often', or eat for the 'wrong reasons', that's all diet culture conditioning that can be unlearned. 

Despite what diet culture dictates, our bodies know what they need, and they can be trusted! Keep tuning in, honoring your body’s cues, and unapologetically savoring every bite and wait for ‘magic’ to unfold.

Want eating and body image to be easier? I know I can help.

Permission, Pleasure, Presence — Your 3 Ps for Stress-Less Holiday Eating

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Or, is it? Let’s face it, as fun as the holiday season can be, it can also be very stressful, especially for those who struggle in their relationships with food. Overeating (defined as eating to an uncomfortable fullness level) during the holidays and then worrying about imminent weight gain are real concerns for a huge majority of the population. So, if you’re feeling this way, understand that you’re not alone.

I know this because during the year, I help people overcome their struggles with food, specifically with binge eating, chronic emotional overeating, and food restriction by teaching them about intuitive eating. Intuitive eating is a process where you learn how to listen to your body’s internal signals for hunger, fullness and food satisfaction. Over time, my clients see that many of the things they’ve been doing to help control their eating (and weight) is what’s causing them to feel uncontrolled and dissatisfied with their eating in the long run.

Regardless if you’re a seasoned intuitive eater or never practiced intuitive eating before, the tips I’m sharing will help you feel more confident and less stressed around your holiday eating.

The truth is that it’s difficult to fully enjoy the holidays when you’re worried about what you’re eating, how much you’re eating, and how all of that will impact your waistline. You don’t have to feel stressed or wallow in food guilt this holiday season if you remember and practice the 3 Ps:

Permission

Instead of restricting your favorite foods because they’re too fattening or have too many carbs, eat them instead. I know it may sound crazy, but restricting foods often leads to overeating or even bingeing. So, giving yourself permission to eat all foods (unless there is a food allergy or sensitivity to it) is less likely to make you overeat them. Believe it or not, food doesn’t seem as “taboo” when we give ourselves permission to eat it. It is making the foods scarce or “forbidden” in our minds that intensifies us wanting them even more.

Pleasure

When choosing foods to eat, eat your favorites first. So, take some time to visually scan what’s available to you and then go for it! Don’t save the best for last. Eat those foods first so you can savor them now. There is no reason to postpone joy, especially if there is a limited quantity of it.

Presence

As often as possible, be present or mindful while eating. I know it’s a busy time of year! Schedules are packed, and often emotions are running high. But as often as possible, be intimate with your food. By that I mean, be deliberate about the foods you choose to eat. When the food hits your tongue, let the flavors and textures take hold. After chewing your food well (which helps with digestion), and swallowing it, ask yourself if the food was satisfying to you before you take another bite. It’s amazing how often we just eat food because it’s on our plate, but the food really isn’t satisfying to us. So, take time to ask yourself if the foods you’re eating are satisfying you. The truth is, often when we’re eating satisfying foods, we often eat less of them.

I’m confident if you keep these three Ps in mind, you’ll experience less stress and more joy in your holiday eating. Also, no matter where you are on your journey with food, give yourself permission to eat “imperfectly”. At any time of the year, striving for perfectionism isn’t good. It breeds rigidity and that often leads to more stress, often more overeating, and more food guilt. Practicing self-compassion when we notice these perceived imperfections allows us to be more present and mindful in our lives because we stop judging ourselves so much. When we’re doing this, we can truly enjoy the gifts of the holiday season and beyond.

How to Stop Eating Past Fullness All the Time

I often hear my clients struggling because many of them find themselves eating past a comfortable fullness. In my Intuitive Eating Workbook Club and during our sessions with clients, I hear them saying things, "I don't understand why I just cannot stop eating when I'm full." While it is important to understand that part of normal eating is "overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable" doing it more often than not could be an indication of a few things.

Before I go further, I want to say that most newbie intuitive eaters often eat past a comfortable fullness. This is especially true if you had been restricting your food for a long time before you started practicing intuitive eating. The longer you had been restricting, the longer this phase generally lingers. This is all part of the attunement process.

Other reasons why you may be eating past a comfortable fullness:

1. Not eating enough or consistently - Not eating enough during meals or snacks or not eating consistently throughout the day is likely the primary reason why people are frequently eating to an uncomfortable fullness level. When our bodies are not adequately fed throughout the day and they finally do finally get a chance to eat, they will do with intensity (referred to as primal eating). When this happens, even with the best intentions, they are not usually able to eat consciously or moderately. Has this ever happened to you?
   

2. Not honoring your body - If you are not allowing yourself to eat all foods (barring an allergy or food sensitivity or other medical reason) or you are not eating foods that are satisfying to you, this may also cause frequent bouts of eating past fullness. For example, you may not be dieting per say, but you may still have rules (even if they subtle) around how often and how much of certain foods, like carbs, you will allow yourself to eat. This is often due to fear of weight gain. While there are other reasons why people frequently eat past fullness, these are the two main reasons I often see in my practice.

Notice any similarities in these two situations? The common thread is that the body's needs are not being met. It is important to understand that the longer and more frequently our bodies needs are ignored, the more we erode our bodies sense of trust.

The ironic thing is that the freedom and peace that intuitive eating promises will not develop unless trust exists. But, since many do not trust themselves around food (which is usually due to their perceived sense of “failure” due to yo-yo dieting) because their internal food police are often telling them that they are "eating too often" or “carbs are fattening” they do not have this needed sense of trust.

This is quite a conundrum, right?

In order to experience this freedom and peace that you so well deserve, you will need to start eating more consistently. And, not just eating consistently, but consistently eating a variety of foods that your body is calling for (including carbs, fats, and refined sugars, if so desired = full permission) and foods that you believe will satisfy your body. Once your body knows that it will be fed again when it is hungry, it will not feel the need to eat past a comfortable fullness as often because it knows food will be available again when it is needed.

Reflective questions to ponder:

1. Are you eating often enough and eating foods that satisfy you throughout the day?

2. When you do eat, is it under ideal conditions so you can eat mindfully so you can experience greater food satisfaction?

3. Are you giving yourself full permission to eat or are you still subtly restricting certain foods or foods groups because you fear weight gain?

This message tumbled out of my heart and into this love note. I hope you it is helpful in some way.

If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.

We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.

I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.

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If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.

We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.

I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.