Why Eating in Moderation is Code for Dieting

I want to talk about the illusion of moderation. 

People often say that intuitive eating is just 'eating in moderation'. I often cringe when I hear folks say this and here's why. 

While 'eating in moderation' usually allows all foods, that allowance often has strings attached. In other words, while there is an allowance, it's a conditional allowance that equates to emotional restriction. 

So, for example, folks allow themselves to eat ice cream, pizza, chips, bread, etc. but they may only allow a certain amount of it or only allow it under certain conditions. If they go beyond what they deem as a 'moderate' amount (whatever that is because 'moderation' is completely subjective) they'll create a narrative that they cannot be trusted around X food because it makes them feel out of control. 

Have you ever experienced this before? I know I have in years past! 

Having 'allowance clauses' around foods damages our relationships with food and body because they:

1. Erode trust in our body’s innate appetite regulation system - Given the opportunity (provided there is no extenuating circumstance), our bodies are fully capable of guiding our food choices, amounts, frequency, etc. When we interfere by trying to control our bodies, oftentimes they respond with dysregulated eating behaviors including bingeing, restrictive eating, frequently eating past a comfortable fullness, 'emotional' eating, etc. 
   

2. Create a sense of food scarcity - Imposed food scarcity often puts us back into the diet/binge cycle because our brains perceive that there is a limited amount of food so we better get it while it's available often causing the same eating behaviors mentioned in #1 above.
   
   I often remind my clients that the effects of scarcity on the human brain were seen during the COVID toilet paper debacle. In the U.S., toilet paper was scarce so many hoarded it like squirrels hoard acorns in the fall preparing for the winter because they were afraid there wouldn't be enough to go around! This is what happens when food is scarce too. 

This makes so much sense to me and is likely why I have such a visceral reaction when I hear people saying that they don't diet but instead 'eat in moderation'. 

I also understand that certain medical conditions sometimes require dietary modifications because I'm experiencing this myself. 

Do you know what makes medically necessary dietary modifications easier?

Investing the time and energy to heal our relationships with food, body, and movement. 

We can trust that our bodies will guide us so we don't need to have 'allowance clauses' around food even if there are medical conditions to contend with. 

How to Say “No” to Food without Feeling Restricted

While eating past fullness is part of what Ellyn Satter describes as "normal eating", doing it on the regular can be very physically and sometimes emotionally uncomfortable.

If you're new to intuitive eating and are still figuring out your hunger and fullness cues, recognizing when you're hungry before you're in a state of primal hunger and stopping before you're uncomfortably full is expected to happen. In fact, this is part of the learning process.

If you've been practicing intuitive eating for a while and still find yourself eating past fullness, I want to share the two magical questions you can ask yourself that may help you to second guess your next bite. This is not intended to restrict or control your eating in any way. It is simply to offer you a possible solution to feeling overstuffed and uncomfortable.

These questions have helped my clients so much, so I wanted to share them with you all too. Whether you’re a newbie or a more seasoned intuitive eater, when you are already feeling full but still want to eat more, ask yourself these two questions without judgment:

Will you feel deprived if you don't eat it?

and

Will you regret not eating it?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, it's probably best to eat the food even though you may suffer a little because you know you'll be uncomfortable afterward. If you don't, it's possible that the regret could lead to a binge or overeating more shortly after. This follows the typical restrict binge cycle. 

However, if you answered no to either of these questions, you may want to rethink it and not continue eating. Of course, you may be willing to do this on some days more than others. Know that this is natural and expected. Remember, intuitive eating is not about perfectionism, but about eating flexibly and without judgment.   

Learning to self-regulate when you know you are engaging in behaviors that don't make you feel your best is helpful and healing.

Tuck these questions away somewhere and refer to them as needed. They may come in handy whenever there is an abundance of yummy food available.

Whatever you decide to do is okay. Remember, every eating has the potential to learn something about ourselves and our bodies. So savor while being mindful of the possible lessons.

P.S. Coaching is the perfect space to explore any eating and body image struggles you may be grappling with. Click the button below if you’d like to schedule a free 20-minute connection session with me to see if coaching is a good fit for you.

Permission, Pleasure, Presence — Your 3 Ps for Stress-Less Holiday Eating

It’s the most wonderful time of the year! Or, is it? Let’s face it, as fun as the holiday season can be, it can also be very stressful, especially for those who struggle in their relationships with food. Overeating (defined as eating to an uncomfortable fullness level) during the holidays and then worrying about imminent weight gain are real concerns for a huge majority of the population. So, if you’re feeling this way, understand that you’re not alone.

I know this because during the year, I help people overcome their struggles with food, specifically with binge eating, chronic emotional overeating, and food restriction by teaching them about intuitive eating. Intuitive eating is a process where you learn how to listen to your body’s internal signals for hunger, fullness and food satisfaction. Over time, my clients see that many of the things they’ve been doing to help control their eating (and weight) is what’s causing them to feel uncontrolled and dissatisfied with their eating in the long run.

Regardless if you’re a seasoned intuitive eater or never practiced intuitive eating before, the tips I’m sharing will help you feel more confident and less stressed around your holiday eating.

The truth is that it’s difficult to fully enjoy the holidays when you’re worried about what you’re eating, how much you’re eating, and how all of that will impact your waistline. You don’t have to feel stressed or wallow in food guilt this holiday season if you remember and practice the 3 Ps:

Permission

Instead of restricting your favorite foods because they’re too fattening or have too many carbs, eat them instead. I know it may sound crazy, but restricting foods often leads to overeating or even bingeing. So, giving yourself permission to eat all foods (unless there is a food allergy or sensitivity to it) is less likely to make you overeat them. Believe it or not, food doesn’t seem as “taboo” when we give ourselves permission to eat it. It is making the foods scarce or “forbidden” in our minds that intensifies us wanting them even more.

Pleasure

When choosing foods to eat, eat your favorites first. So, take some time to visually scan what’s available to you and then go for it! Don’t save the best for last. Eat those foods first so you can savor them now. There is no reason to postpone joy, especially if there is a limited quantity of it.

Presence

As often as possible, be present or mindful while eating. I know it’s a busy time of year! Schedules are packed, and often emotions are running high. But as often as possible, be intimate with your food. By that I mean, be deliberate about the foods you choose to eat. When the food hits your tongue, let the flavors and textures take hold. After chewing your food well (which helps with digestion), and swallowing it, ask yourself if the food was satisfying to you before you take another bite. It’s amazing how often we just eat food because it’s on our plate, but the food really isn’t satisfying to us. So, take time to ask yourself if the foods you’re eating are satisfying you. The truth is, often when we’re eating satisfying foods, we often eat less of them.

I’m confident if you keep these three Ps in mind, you’ll experience less stress and more joy in your holiday eating. Also, no matter where you are on your journey with food, give yourself permission to eat “imperfectly”. At any time of the year, striving for perfectionism isn’t good. It breeds rigidity and that often leads to more stress, often more overeating, and more food guilt. Practicing self-compassion when we notice these perceived imperfections allows us to be more present and mindful in our lives because we stop judging ourselves so much. When we’re doing this, we can truly enjoy the gifts of the holiday season and beyond.