What We Don’t Need During This Pandemic

I've seen sh*t everywhere about eating and weight gain due to this crisis. Memes about eating X instead of Y to avoid weight gain. Or fear mongering about eating "too" much sugar... blah, blah, etc. In addition, many are worried that they’re eating to comfort themselves (aka “emotionally” eating) too often. Others are out of sorts because they cannot go to their gym to workout. I also understand that some may want to try to control their food because that's all they feel they can control during this pandemic. Please know that I understand and appreciate all of these fears. While these fears are expected because the world is obsessed with weight and staying "in shape", it doesn't help anyone, especially those recovering from disordered eating or from an eating disorder. 

While these messages are sometimes meant to be funny or "helpful", they could be hindering your recovery in the following ways:

1) They reinforce the belief that weight gain and fat are bad which perpetuates fatphobia and weight stigma.

2) They reinforce the diet culture message that our value, attractiveness and health are tied to our weight which isn't true. 

3) They reinforce that there is a "right" way to grieve which doesn't allow us the grace and space to go inward to discern what our individual needs are. 

Please allow yourself the space you need to get through this crisis without ruminating on the fears of weight gain because the gym is closed or because you're cooped up inside eating more "comfort" foods than you're comfortable with.⁣
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We're all in a "do what you gotta do" mode and we needn't feel ashamed or embarrassed about it, ever. There is nothing wrong with finding comfort in eating, lying around being "unproductive", crying or anything else you may need to be doing right now. ⁣In terms of your food and body image are concerned, whatever you're choosing is okay and there needn't be any judgment around it. We need to remember that while we don’t know exactly when this will end, we do know that it won’t last forever.
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Our jobs right now are to:

• Follow the safety and CDC guidelines in our respective areas 

• Be kind and compassionate to ourselves and others

• Have intense gratitude that we're alive 

• Find opportunities and/or use our gifts in the midst of the rubble to help ourselves and others get through this safely

That is the only way the world is going to heal from this. ⁣

Now more than ever, we need to keep trusting and listening to our bodies because they are in shock and need us to care for them. We need to trust that whatever we're doing is what we need to do to survive this.

If this is you...

If you're struggling and are noticing you're counting carbs, points, compulsively exercising, or restricting in any other way, I urge you to be curious instead of judgmental. If you know it's not what you want to do but you don't have the proper support in place to change your behavior, please schedule a connection call with me. We can schedule a private session(s) to talk through it and get you back on track with your intuitive eating practice. We can even schedule a meal support session if you're feeling shaky eating on your own. 

When things settle down, and they will eventually, we'll all get back to our lives and be so proud that we allowed ourselves to do whatever was necessary to thrive during this unprecedented time in all of our lives. 

Before you go…I'm cooking up something great to help support my followers who are struggling with food, body image and catastrophic thinking during this crisis. Please respond to a short 3-question survey so I know what you need. I will have more information including payment details and expected outcomes for you asap! 
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How “Feeling Your Feelings” May Help Improve Your Relationship with Food

At the root of many eating difficulties is the inability to experience or feel our feelings. While I agree with this, I will say that most don't know how that translates or integrates into their every day lives. In addition, even if they know that feeling their feelings may advance their personal growth, it still can be scary and overwhelming to think about actually doing it, especially without the proper support in place.

I came across this image How to Feel Your Feelings by bestselling author, artist & speaker Amber Rae @hyeamberrae a few weeks ago and posted it in my No-Diet Sisterhood group and a lot of members really loved it!

In this illustration, once you’ve determined that you’re “feeling off”, take time to pause between the following questions to explore your feelings. Notice how feeling your feelings involves going inward instead of searching for something outside of ourselves to “fix” the problem just like intuitive eating does.

1. What am I feeling?

2. Where do I feel it in my body?

3. If it could talk, what would it say?

4. What might this be teaching me?

5. What do I need right now?

6. What tiny step can I take to meet my need?

I know first hand how painful it can be to feel unpleasant feelings. I also know there are significant benefits to doing this but I didn’t always know or understand what they were. I have included three primary reasons why below and hopefully they will encourage you to try something different the next time you try to escape into unhelpful, self-destructive behaviors like restricting food, abusing alcohol, drugs, chronically "emotionally" eating, busyness, compulsive exercising, or a variety of other self-harming behaviors.

Here are three reasons why it is important to allow yourself to process and experience your true feelings.

1. Numbing feelings may dull happy emotions
   When we habitually numb our challenging emotions, we also risk the ability to experience other feel good emotions. As humans, we're designed to feel a wide range of emotions, not just the pleasant ones. When we allow ourselves to experience uncomfortable emotions like sadness or anger, it intensifies emotions like happiness and joy even more.
   

2. Fighting the emotions blinds you
   Acceptance is tough pill to swallow when you're dealing with painful emotions but without it, we are blind to seeing the possibilities the emotion has to offer us. The less we accept, the less energy and mental space we'll have to discern why the feelings surfaced in the first place! If we begin to change our mindset around unpleasant emotions and start to see them as messengers which signal something important that we need to pay attention to, the better off we'll be.
   

3. Processing emotions leads to a healthier relationship with food
   Allowing ourselves to feel emotions is part of life and when we allow it, we are deepening our connection with ourselves and with our bodies. By doing this, we inadvertently strengthen our intuitive eating practice too! The more we get acquainted with what our bodies need, the more often we will likely honor them by meeting their needs. In the end, this will lead to a fuller more satisfying life and a healthier and more peaceful relationship with food and body.

The next time you're confronted with uncomfortable emotions, remember the How to Feel Your Feelings image and consider the questions it’s asking. Doing this may help to process your emotions more easily so you can recognize the important lessons that may be hiding beneath them.

I'd love to hear from you! Feel free to respond to this love note and share how this image landed with you. Do you think this could be helpful for you?

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If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.

We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.

I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.

How to Stop Eating Past Fullness All the Time

I often hear my clients struggling because many of them find themselves eating past a comfortable fullness. In my Intuitive Eating Workbook Club and during our sessions with clients, I hear them saying things, "I don't understand why I just cannot stop eating when I'm full." While it is important to understand that part of normal eating is "overeating at times, feeling stuffed and uncomfortable" doing it more often than not could be an indication of a few things.

Before I go further, I want to say that most newbie intuitive eaters often eat past a comfortable fullness. This is especially true if you had been restricting your food for a long time before you started practicing intuitive eating. The longer you had been restricting, the longer this phase generally lingers. This is all part of the attunement process.

Other reasons why you may be eating past a comfortable fullness:

1. Not eating enough or consistently - Not eating enough during meals or snacks or not eating consistently throughout the day is likely the primary reason why people are frequently eating to an uncomfortable fullness level. When our bodies are not adequately fed throughout the day and they finally do finally get a chance to eat, they will do with intensity (referred to as primal eating). When this happens, even with the best intentions, they are not usually able to eat consciously or moderately. Has this ever happened to you?
   

2. Not honoring your body - If you are not allowing yourself to eat all foods (barring an allergy or food sensitivity or other medical reason) or you are not eating foods that are satisfying to you, this may also cause frequent bouts of eating past fullness. For example, you may not be dieting per say, but you may still have rules (even if they subtle) around how often and how much of certain foods, like carbs, you will allow yourself to eat. This is often due to fear of weight gain. While there are other reasons why people frequently eat past fullness, these are the two main reasons I often see in my practice.

Notice any similarities in these two situations? The common thread is that the body's needs are not being met. It is important to understand that the longer and more frequently our bodies needs are ignored, the more we erode our bodies sense of trust.

The ironic thing is that the freedom and peace that intuitive eating promises will not develop unless trust exists. But, since many do not trust themselves around food (which is usually due to their perceived sense of “failure” due to yo-yo dieting) because their internal food police are often telling them that they are "eating too often" or “carbs are fattening” they do not have this needed sense of trust.

This is quite a conundrum, right?

In order to experience this freedom and peace that you so well deserve, you will need to start eating more consistently. And, not just eating consistently, but consistently eating a variety of foods that your body is calling for (including carbs, fats, and refined sugars, if so desired = full permission) and foods that you believe will satisfy your body. Once your body knows that it will be fed again when it is hungry, it will not feel the need to eat past a comfortable fullness as often because it knows food will be available again when it is needed.

Reflective questions to ponder:

1. Are you eating often enough and eating foods that satisfy you throughout the day?

2. When you do eat, is it under ideal conditions so you can eat mindfully so you can experience greater food satisfaction?

3. Are you giving yourself full permission to eat or are you still subtly restricting certain foods or foods groups because you fear weight gain?

This message tumbled out of my heart and into this love note. I hope you it is helpful in some way.

If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.

We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.

I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.

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If you're tired of battling with your weight, fed up with the cycle of yo-yo dieting, and yearning to be free from your obsessive thinking about food and your body, schedule your complimentary Embrace Anti-Diet Living Connection Session.

We’ll get clear on where you are now, what you want instead, and what might be getting in the way of your success.

I’ll also share some powerful recommendations and resources to get you started on creating a peaceful relationship with your body and food.