midlife

Four Tips to Ease into Swimsuit Season

Do you dread wearing a swimsuit? ⁣

If you're in the Northern Hemisphere, you know that swimsuit season is only a few months away.⁣

Showing more skin can be hard enough, but wearing a swimsuit can cause significant discomfort for folks who struggle with body image no matter what size they are. 

Many will even avoid wearing a swimsuit so they can avoid the emotional upheaval that often follows. 

I understand because I've been there too. Back in the day, I used to wear a coverup no matter how hot it was! I wouldn't want to go back to that time in my life for anything. 

If you're dreading the swimsuit season because you don't feel confident in your body, I believe with some preparation you can write a different story this summer! 

Here are some tips to help you get started:
👙 Be prepared Consider trying on your swimsuits now to be sure they fit comfortably. I've had clients put on their suits while on vacation only to realize they didn't fit the same or at all. This can be a serious bummer! 

🩱 Don't wait  If your swimsuits don't fit comfortably or if you don't have any swimsuits, start looking/ordering suits now so you'll have time to return them if needed.⁣

🏊‍♂️ Neutralize To help neutralize what you see when you gaze in the mirror, wear your swimsuit around the house so you get used to seeing yourself. Avoiding this will make it even harder because it may be shocking. 

🥽 Interrupt Practice interrupting any negative, shameful body thoughts with loving, compassionate thought(s). Over time this will begin to create a new neural pathway. 

Ready to fast-track your body image recovery? Tap the Let’s Connect button below to schedule your free 20-minute connection call.

You don't have to do this alone.

12 Things You Can Control Instead of Trying to Control Your Weight

If you're in the US, the recent news around gun violence in our schools and communities, reproductive rights, LGBTQ+ rights (especially trans rights), etc. may be weighing heavily on your mind. If this is you, know that you're not alone because I've lost hours of sleep in the last few weeks. Like many of you, I have a myriad of emotions but mostly I feel grief, overwhelm, and powerless because I have little control over what is happening. Do you feel this way sometimes too? 

I've had plenty of clients say that they feel this same sense of overwhelm and powerlessness when they've just started their intuitive eating journey, are struggling with peri/menopause, have been diagnosed with pre-diabetes or diabetes, an autoimmune illness, or their labs indicate elevated cholesterol, etc. 

The natural response when things feel out of control is to try to regain control somehow. While is a logical response, it often doesn't come easy. This is because many of the things we tend to try and control only give us the illusion that they can be controlled.

Below is a short but not exhaustive list of things we do when we are trying to regain control:

  • Weight, body size, and shape

  • Our food by practicing restrictive behaviors/dieting (a.k.a. undereating)

  • Other people

  • What other people think of us

How did trying to control those things work out for you?

Now for the good news. Below is a list of a few tangible things that are within your control:

  • Our attitudes, actions, and reactions

  • How much time we spend on social media and who we follow 

  • Boundaries we set with others, around our time, etc. 

  • Spending time with people that nourish us emotionally 

  • How we speak to ourselves

  • Our spending/budgets

  • How often we're checking in with our bodies

  • Harmful habits and/or patterns 

  • Our self-care practices (sleep, movement, time management, etc.)

  • How we dress ourselves 

  • Nourishing our bodies with foods that put their needs first 

  • Organization/cleanliness of our environments

The illusion of control in a society so hyper-focused on physical appearance is powerful so if this is hard to accept, it's understandable. Even so, I encourage you to keep focusing on the long list of things within your control and see the freedom and peace they can offer you. 

If you're feeling that you could benefit from getting 1:1 support because you're still trying to control the uncontrollable, let's connect to see how coaching can help you move past this. 

Measuring Progress without the Scale

The other day, I was asked how I measure my client’s progress without using the scale. I thought this was such a great question, especially for anyone who is considering practicing Intuitive Eating. The truth is, unlike dieting, with Intuitive Eating, progress isn’t measured by numbers (although metabolic health ranges may improve as a byproduct of better self-care). In fact, focusing on numbers like weight, inches lost/added or number of times eaten hinders the healing process. If you’re struggling in your relationship with food and have decided to start practicing Intuitive Eating, there are several indicators that show your progress without ever stepping on a scale, counting a calorie, ‘point’ or measuring your waist!

1. Hunger/fullness — You’re allowing yourself to unconditionally eat (mostly when hungry, but sometimes just because you want to) and not just basing your meals/snacks on the time of day and/or the number of hours between meals/snacks. Also, you’re becoming more aware when you’re feeling full and are usually able to stop eating based on these signals.

2. Reduced stress/anxiety — You enjoy your food with a noticeable difference in how you feel when you’re preparing it, eating it, and feeling after eating it. In the past, certain foods may have left you wanting more and possibly even obsessing over them but when you’ve begun to make peace with food, that stress around food often dissipates. This certainly doesn’t happen overnight, but eventually, white knuckling around food will be a faint memory.

3. Digestion matters — Many who consistently eat foods that don’t agree with their digestive systems are often not tuned in to how certain foods or combinations of foods make them feel. Becoming aware of this is a huge part of the Intuitive Eating process. For some, becoming more observant about their food choices and/or food combinations is important. This may be difficult in the initial stages of Intuitive Eating, but over time, it usually becomes easier to discern this. Supplements may also be needed to help with this.

4. More variety — For those who have religiously restricted foods high in calories, fat, or carbs often limit the types of foods they’ll eat. They do this because they fear they’ll go ‘overboard’ and not be able to stop eating once they start. They are often terrified of weight gain. This is very common and can sometimes keep people in a rut with their food and often stagnates or prevents healing. Being open to and then noticing that you’re allowing a variety of foods in your diet and that you eat these foods without (or with reduced) anxiety or fear is huge growth!

5. Stop labeling and judging– You’ve stopped labeling food as “good” vs. “bad” or “healthy” vs. “unhealthy”. Labels like these create a lot of guilt around food choices and, over time, chip away at self-esteem. Labeling foods also causes us to have a moral attachment to foods. This attachment makes it impossible to notice the satisfaction level of the food and how you’ll feel physically and emotionally after eating it. Without this knowledge, foods will continue to be seen from the standpoint of calories, fat grams, carbs, etc. which is still dieting. Once you’re able to get past your judgments about food, the food choices usually become more nutritionally balanced.

6. Less preoccupation — Instead of being consistently preoccupied over what to eat, how much to eat, when to eat it, etc. you can simply be mindful and enjoy what you’re eating! While it’s certainly acceptable to give thought to food and the enjoyment of it, doing so in an unbalanced/obsessive manner isn’t healthy. When the food obsession diminishes, there is more time to enjoy life!

7. Move for fun, not punishment — It’s amazing what happens when the focal point of the exercise isn’t on the number of calories burned, but on how the movement makes your body feel. When your criteria for choosing movement is based on how it makes you feel rather than on the number of calories that will be burned or the number of steps you walked, you can choose movement that you’ll enjoy and likely do consistently. Engaging in consistent movement is important for metabolic health (blood pressure, blood cholesterol, sugar), managing stress, bone health, and emotional wellbeing.

8. Stop food extremes — You know you’re well on your way to food freedom once you’ve stopped going to food extremes like forbidding refined sugar, carbs, fats or high-calorie foods. When you’ve gotten to a place where you recognize that all foods can be enjoyed in moderation (which is different for everyone) and without all the guilt, this is a great sign! Once you’ve begun to see that all foods (barring a food allergy or sensitivity) can be enjoyed without the sky falling or the nasty food police always judging every morsel of food that crosses your lips, you’re on your way to achieving food freedom!

So, the next time you’re wondering if your Intuitive Eating efforts are “paying off”, I hope you’ll consider these non-numeric benchmarks. Remember, being an Intuitive Eater is not about being “perfect” around food. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Intuitive Eating is about allowing ourselves to be more flexible around food while allowing our bodies to guide us. When we’re ‘tuned in’ to what our bodies need instead of focusing on numbers, food freedom and body acceptance are possible!

Are you ready to ditch dieting and try Intuitive Eating instead? If so, good for you! Join us in The No-Diet Sisterhood group on Facebook where we talk about Intuitive Eating and body acceptance all day long!

P.S. Coaching is the perfect space to explore any eating and body image struggles you may be grappling with. Click the button below if you’d like to schedule a free 20-minute connection session with me to see if coaching is a good fit for you.