How to "Intuitively" Plan Without Being Diet-y About It

For anyone who wasn't able to attend the BOOM! Ladies Night last week where we had a very relevant and insightful discussion about what we wished someone had told us when we turned 50, catch the free replay here.

Now on to this week's message...

Are planning and intuitiveness contradictory?

In a nutshell, no. I don't think they are when we're talking about things like intuitive eating and intuitive movement. However, I do think there are some important caveats to this and I want to outline a few of them for you.

The main premise of being intuitive is to go inward and check in with our bodies instead of relying on outside influences to guide our decisions. Having said that, I do think it's possible to plan in advance to make our lives easier provided we keep a few things in mind.

1. Strive for flexibility NOT perfection - Instead of being rigid and perfectionistic about your plans, remember that you have permission to change your plans to remain true to your bodies' needs. So, for example, if you meal plan for the week, but you're just not feelin' the dinner you had scheduled for tonight (or any other night), you have permission to eat something else. One of the main purposes of intuitive eating is to eat foods that are satisfying and make your body feel good.
   

2. Beware of "shoulding" yourself - Many of the members of my Joyful Movement at Last! program said they used to try and "should" themselves into movement to no avail. I'm not surprised because research shows that "shoulding" doesn't work and actually moves us further away from our goals instead of closer. I can relate to this as I did this myself for several decades! On the flip side, self-compassion is linked to increased motivation and improved health behaviors so in the long run, cultivating a self-compassion practice can help you develop and maintain a consistent exercise routine.
   

3. You have permission to schedule - Like most, you're probably busy with work, family, volunteering, etc. With the schedules we all keep, setting intentions around the things that matter to us is important. No, it doesn't mean that the schedule needs to be rigid (see #1 above), but if we don't make a concerted effort to nurture what matters to us and what helps to support our bodies, our needs often go unmet. That is often a setup for engaging in disordered eating behaviors and shame spiraling.
   

4. Remain true to your needs by getting curious - If you're not in the mood to eat a planned meal or to move in the way you had planned (and your body is feeling like it wants to move in some way), you don't have to scratch your whole plan. Instead, get curious and ask yourself, "What kind of movement do I have the energy to do today?" or "What foods seem most appealing right now?". I realize that we cannot always get everything that we want, but when we can and it's within our reach, why not go for it?!
   

In full transparency, I experienced all of these things within a span of few hours this past weekend. I had planned to go for a walk, I said I was going a few times, but never had the get-up and go to do it.

I realized I was being rigid by thinking I had to do what I had planned. I almost started "shoulding" myself into it, but caught myself, changed direction, and asked myself what kind of movement I WAS in the mood to do instead. I calmed my mind by going inward, marinated my rigid thoughts with self-compassion, and realized what I wanted was to do yoga and not walk. So, I did some yoga and my body felt energized and less stiff afterward.

In this example, even though my plans changed slightly, I still did what was important to me by listening to my body and it resulted in a calmer mind and body.

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How I Reversed My Fatty Liver Disease Without Dieting

So often weight loss is prescribed to improve or reduce the risk for illness or to help manage existing health conditions. Unless you have a Health At Every Size (HAES) aligned physician or have had the "no weight loss" talk with your medical practitioner, weight loss is often hailed as the cure-all for it all.

In January 2018 when I had some intermittent pain in my lower back, my nurse practitioner (NP) sent me for an abdominal ultrasound. Thankfully, all looked mostly okay so they attributed the pain to a pulled muscle. However, one thing the report did show was that I had nonalcoholic non-fatty liver disease (NAFLD).

While I was told I had a mild case, I was also told that if I didn’t make some serious changes, it could lead to more dire issues later like cirrhosis of the liver. I was told and also read that I am not the typical body person who’s diagnosed with this disease (meaning I’m not in a larger body and I eat a fairly balanced diet) but nonetheless, I had it.

Despite my "mild" case, I was still quite upset and was determined to find a way to either reverse the condition or at the very least reduce the risk of it getting worse.

In addition to some tweaks to diet, all the research I read cited weight loss as the “solution” to cure this condition. As a HAES advocate and Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor, I know that intentional weight loss often does more harm than good, so I remained rooted in the HAES research studies that encourage implementing (or adding) more engaging health-promoting behaviors.

I also consulted with a fellow HAES practitioner and she confirmed that the changes I planned to make would very likely help to improve my condition.

My plan included the following:

• Gaining a deeper understanding of the gentle nutrition guidelines (IE, Principle 10) and how to more effectively integrate them into my diet, especially my fiber intake

• Cultivating a meditation and mindful self-compassion practice to help manage stress

• Practicing yoga more regularly

• Increasing my joyful movement endeavors to include more intuitive cardio

My NP followed up with annual blood work and agreed that I wouldn't have to do anything else unless some irregularity surfaced there.

Well, fast forward to April 2021 when I needed to have another abdominal ultrasound for something unrelated. That report was unremarkable, and the report also showed NO sign of liver disease at all. It appears I was able to reverse my NAFLD. The best part was that I was able to do this by following the principles of HAES and intuitive eating (IE) NOT by intentionally pursuing weight loss.

While I realize that not everyone may be able to reverse a condition by following the HAES/IE principles, copious amounts of research show that intentional weight loss is not the answer because it often leads to increased binge eating, rebound weight gain, and poor mental health.

Instead, focusing on consistent self-care, managing stress, and practicing the principles of intuitive movement/HAES is often very effective in helping to heal our bodies and restore metabolic health (i.e. blood pressure, cholesterol, glucose) and mental health, etc.

While I'm thrilled that my NAFLD reversed itself and thank God for this, I'm equally as happy to share my testimony so you can see that it is possible to heal from a medical condition where weight loss is typically recommended by following the HAES/IE principles.

Since the research is so overwhelmingly clear that intentional weight loss (which is approximately ~97% ineffective) or dieting often leads to rebound weight gain, I never recommend it to my clients or anyone else who’s trying to restore metabolic health, reverse or decrease the risk of contracting a long-term illness.

There is another way and it's never dieting. Of course, you may still have your doubts and, honestly, I would expect that because this is not a mainstream practice. However, please keep in mind that most physicians don’t know about HAES or don’t believe in HAES so they are usually pro-weight loss. This can lead to stigmatizing medical care which has many potentially harmful effects. I’d also encourage you to learn more about size inclusivity in health by visiting the Association for Size Diversity and Health (ASDAH) website.

Watch my LIVE video about this in the No Diet Sisterhood!

Need support with this?

Been diagnosed with a medical condition and your practitioner has advised you to lose weight or want to start a joyful movement program but cannot get started? I bet some support would help! Schedule a free 20-minute connection session to discover how coaching can help.

With love and compassion, I'll meet you wherever you are in your journey.

Reframing Self-Judgments Around COVID Weight Gain

Photo by Drop the Label Movement on Unsplash

As I mentioned in last week's message, as we return to "normalcy" let's all remember that it's natural to be a little anxious if we haven't done something for a while. I'm sure many of you have seen the harmful memes, heard jokes/commentary on TV, radio, social media, etc. about COVID weight gain. Even with the most pristine newsfeed and careful curating of friends, etc., this kind of talk is hard to escape.

What's worse, is that because our culture is so obsessed with weight and sees weight gain as something "bad", feeling neutral can be challenging even if you've been traveling in the non-diet circles for a while. 

In full transparency, I know that I likely gained weight during this pandemic. It's possible that my weight just shifted because I wasn't doing as much cardio as my body is used to, but nonetheless, my body is different. I'm honestly not upset about this, but I also acknowledge that I'm not in a larger body so I do carry some privilege. 

We cannot hear this enough; it's been a tough year. While we can say that, I'm not sure that we all take the time to reflect on exactly how this translates in terms of our eating, movement, and body image. Albeit sometimes painful, reflection can help us to process what has happened and, in this case, hopefully, reduce the sense of blame that so many are feeling around any possible weight gain. As a reminder, we never need an excuse, nor do we need to feel bad about weight gain despite what our culture tells us.

This is a brief summary of the profound and unwelcome changes that happened this year. While I realize that not everyone may have experienced these things personally, even those of us who didn't experience all these things still heard or read about them on the news or had someone close or at a distance who experienced them and that is very draining too. I know this is especially true for those of us who are more empathic. Here goes:

• Reporting to work in unsafe and unsupportive environments

• Homeschooling children or grandchildren while managing their own work schedule

• Job loss or a reduction in hours

• Social lives halted including major celebrations like births, weddings, graduations, etc.

• Inability to mourn those who have passed with proper wakes and burials

• No in-person religious services (at least for a long period of time)

• Fear over the loss of loved ones or fear of loved ones contracting COVID

• Loss or difficulty in accessing coping mechanisms and hobbies that support your mental health (i.e. gym, movies, restaurants, museums, etc.)

• Profound social unrest in our country, especially in the LGBTQ+ and BIPOC communities

• Political strife and a national election that rocked our nation

I don't know about you, but when I read this list and reflect on each bullet point, I feel it in my body and... 

I remember the fear.
I remember the worry. 
I remember the loss. 

However, I also feel...
Gratitude
Relief
Hope

While my objective is not to tell you how to feel, I do hope that my words helped to reframe this year so that if you've gained weight, you can take the focus off that, and instead think about what your body has endured this past year. 

That is how we can shift into gratitude that we're still on earth, have relief that we're nearing the end of it while having hope for what lies ahead. 

You don’t need to feel bad about your body, your weight, age, etc. The world needs you as you are! Need some support help with this? Click the button below to see how some coaching tools can help ease your journey.

How to Say “No” to Food without Feeling Restricted

While eating past fullness is part of what Ellyn Satter describes as "normal eating", doing it on the regular can be very physically and sometimes emotionally uncomfortable.

If you're new to intuitive eating and are still figuring out your hunger and fullness cues, recognizing when you're hungry before you're in a state of primal hunger and stopping before you're uncomfortably full is expected to happen. In fact, this is part of the learning process.

If you've been practicing intuitive eating for a while and still find yourself eating past fullness, I want to share the two magical questions you can ask yourself that may help you to second guess your next bite. This is not intended to restrict or control your eating in any way. It is simply to offer you a possible solution to feeling overstuffed and uncomfortable.

These questions have helped my clients so much, so I wanted to share them with you all too. Whether you’re a newbie or a more seasoned intuitive eater, when you are already feeling full but still want to eat more, ask yourself these two questions without judgment:

Will you feel deprived if you don't eat it?

and

Will you regret not eating it?

If you answered yes to either of these questions, it's probably best to eat the food even though you may suffer a little because you know you'll be uncomfortable afterward. If you don't, it's possible that the regret could lead to a binge or overeating more shortly after. This follows the typical restrict binge cycle. 

However, if you answered no to either of these questions, you may want to rethink it and not continue eating. Of course, you may be willing to do this on some days more than others. Know that this is natural and expected. Remember, intuitive eating is not about perfectionism, but about eating flexibly and without judgment.   

Learning to self-regulate when you know you are engaging in behaviors that don't make you feel your best is helpful and healing.

Tuck these questions away somewhere and refer to them as needed. They may come in handy whenever there is an abundance of yummy food available.

Whatever you decide to do is okay. Remember, every eating has the potential to learn something about ourselves and our bodies. So savor while being mindful of the possible lessons.

P.S. Coaching is the perfect space to explore any eating and body image struggles you may be grappling with. Click the button below if you’d like to schedule a free 20-minute connection session with me to see if coaching is a good fit for you.

5 Movement Tips to Help Quiet Diet Mentality Thoughts

I'm sure we'd all agree that it's been a long year! There is great news on the horizon though as more people are receiving the COVID vaccine, flowers (and allergies) are in full bloom, and it's getting warmer outside for most of us.

As we return to "normalcy" let's all remember that it's natural to be a little anxious if we haven't done something for a while. If you are feeling a desire to get back to movement (or anything else), expect that there may be some hesitancy, especially if you've been laying low during the pandemic (which is totally fine).

Some of this hesitancy may also be some diet mentality creeping back in, especially if you've gained weight during the pandemic (which is also totally fine). Remember, diet culture is all about shrinking our bodies to conform to an impossible standard, "fixing" our bodies’ trouble areas, and going outside of our bodies for guidance. As intuitive eaters, we learn that we already have an internal GPS that can guide us. The further we move away from the rigid rules, the more amplified that intuitive voice will become.

Please know that you are not obligated to exercise. However, if you want to but are feeling some resistance, these tips may provide some guidance so you won't overcomplicate or overwhelm yourself.

Pro tip #1
Some movement is better than no movement. As always, rigidity around how much time and what type of movement isn't as important as moving!

Pro tip #2
You have permission to create a movement plan that works for your life and fits into your schedule. Do the best you can to remain flexible.

Pro tip #3
Strengthen your intentions by focusing more on listening to your body instead of meeting your fitness goals.

Pro tip #4
Remember that movement isn't about perfection. Perfectionism causes INACTION.

Pro tip #5
Minimize self-sabotaging behaviors by keeping movement simple and uncomplicated.

Struggling with this? I've often struggled to make movement a priority in my life too. If you want to explore why this may be, download my free quiz What's Getting In Your Way of Exercising with Ease?

Or if you're looking to jump right in to get beneath the procrastinating, overcomplicating and diet mentality thoughts around movement, enroll in my Joyful Movement at Last! program. Community can make all the difference!

Can intentional weight loss and intuitive eating co-exist?

Q: Is it possible to intentionally work towards losing weight while intuitively eating?

A: Isn't this the million-dollar question?

One of my followers was being stigmatized by her doctor to lose weight for "medical" reasons asked me this question in the No Diet Sisterhood. In truth, I get this question a lot and read it often on social media.

You've probably guessed it, but the answer is NO, and here's why.

Based on my extensive and ongoing (let's hear it for life-long learners!) professional training as a Certified Intuitive Eating Counselor and body image coach and from my decades-long battle with food, I can say with certainty that intentional weight loss clouds judgment and prevents people from eating according to their body's cues because they fear it will affect their weight.

When intentional weight loss is the goal, choices are made based on caloric/macro/micro content, etc., and not on the body's cues. Since intuitive eating is all about giving ourselves full permission to eat so that we can discern what foods feel best in our bodies, etc. making intentional weight loss a part of this process is not intuitive. If weight loss happens naturally as a result of listening to the body, that's entirely different.

While a foundational goal of intuitive eating is to become more flexible with eating, another is also to do so in accordance with one's hunger/fullness cues, satisfaction, digestion, etc. The principles can seem fundamental to the naked eye, but when it comes to actually integrating them into everyday life, they can get quite emotionally complex. This is why so many fall back into diet mentality and don't even realize it. This is especially true when people are stigmatized and told to lose weight for "medical" reasons.

The belief that you need to lose weight to be healthy isn't valid and the Health At Every Size (HAES) movement is based on this research. Whenever intentional weight loss is the goal there is restriction. Bingeing and eating for comfort (aka "emotional" eating) often increases when there is even the slightest detection of restriction. So whether there is emotional restriction (guilt, worry, shame, rules, etc.) or physical restriction (counting, "forbidden" food, etc.) disordered behaviors around food will continue. There is just no way around and if you're like most of us who have struggled with food for some time, your history reflects this.

While higher weights may be correlated with certain illnesses, they are not necessarily the cause of them. Fat activist Ragen Chastain breaks down the research on this often in her blog Dances with Fat.

Beware. There are many who are trying to co-opt intuitive eating and turn it into another weight loss plan or "lifestyle". If you are following any intuitive eating professional who is even hinting that you will lose weight with intuitive eating or is saying that [X] type of exercise will change your body shape/size, or giving specific instructions about "healthy" vs. "unhealthy" foods, unfollow them as they will do more harm than good for you.

Intuitive eating (and HAES) is not and never will be about weight loss. True intuitive eating is about healing a relationship with food, body image and rediscovering movement that's not tied to weight loss. Period.

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