It’s important to remember that ditching dieting is counter-cultural. For those of us who have been “enlightened” and blessed to have discovered intuitive eating, we often want others to drink the proverbial Kool-Aid so that they can discover food freedom too. After all, we know the suffering and the soul-crushing damage dieting can do, and as humans, we want to spare others that pain.
One of the gifts of reawakening the intuitive eater in us is that intuition in many areas of our lives is often restored. Use that intuition to gauge whether or not you think people are ready to learn about this or not. I’ve had many clients, especially in the early phases of their recovery, try to “convert” dieters to intuitive eating and they were met with much opposition. What’s worse is that it made them doubt their decision to continue in their no-diet journey. Thankfully they had proper support in place, but it was still challenging for them nonetheless.
If you’re up to it, I encourage you to share articles, experiences, etc. with your friends, co-workers, and family. If you’re not up for it, that’s okay too. Just know that if you share, there may be some who are oppositional to it. There may not be, but there is always that chance. Again, people don’t always react well to counter-cultural messages because it challenges them to think about things differently and that causes discomfort! So, know that their opposition is more about them and not about you at all. They are simply responding to their discomfort.
I often need to remind myself that even though sharing this work can be scary at times, by putting it out there in the universe, I could be exposing others to something they never knew existed. That’s what propels me to keep doing this work and sharing this message. The notion that someone else could be encouraged to ditch dieting and begin to see that their value isn’t tied to a number on the scale or to the size of their jeans fires me up! And let’s not forget that every time we share this message, we put another nail in the diet culture coffin and then we all benefit!
So, beautiful souls, share your amazing no-diet testimonies with others when you’re ready. If people scoff, remember that it’s about them and not about you! I’m five years into this work and my heart rate increases every time when I hit “Enter” to post an article online, write/comment on a social media post, do a live video, or speak to people about my work. However, I’ve learned not to let that stop me! As I often say, you do you and let others adjust. Remember, you’re always free to share your message in the No-Diet Sisterhood on Facebook.
I know, this is a very provocative question, right?
I cannot tell you how often I hear my clients say, “I feel so fat!” (and fat isn’t a bad thing) or “I just hate my _______ (fill in the body part)”. I get it. There was a time when I would often say things like this too. It’s much less often now, but when I realized that all of that hating was just a distraction from looking at the underlying emotions that were really causing the lack of body acceptance, things began to change for me.
To help my clients with this, I’ll weave intriguing questions like this one into our discussions to uncover what could be going on beneath the surface. When we dig a little deeper we’ll discover, for example, that they’re feeling discomfort about establishing boundaries with a family member or friend; they’re lacking confidence in a particular area; or they’re feeling unworthy or “not enough” in some capacity of their lives. Or, if they’re still entrenched in diet mentality, they could also be feeling guilty about a food(s) they recently ate and it’s masquerading as body dissatisfaction. (HINT: This is why it’s so important not to ignore body image issues.) Asking these questions helps my clients experience a shift in perspective or belief. When this happens, the proverbial light bulb goes off in their minds which creates space for new thoughts and behaviors to begin developing. This is where the seeds for real growth are witnessed.
Fostering this awareness can be a game changer in relation to improving relationships with food and body acceptance. If we continue to believe that having X type of body and/or seeing X number on the scale will make us happier and/or feel fulfilled, we will continue to be dissatisfied and frustrated with our current weight, body and life. On the contrary, when we are willing to translate what these harmful messages are really trying to tell us, the possibilities for healing grow exponentially.
I’ve attached a free resource for you to use the next time you find yourself saying “I feel ______ (insert negative word here).” This image was created by Me and My ED . I encourage you to check out their website for other great resources. Click here to download your help sheet.
How is this concept landing for you? Do you believe that your constant or occasional body dissatisfaction could be an indication that there is something deeper to explore?
One of the most important things that has helped me in my Intuitive Eating and body acceptance journey has been faith. Not necessarily faith in terms of God/Source/Universe or a Higher Power, although it doesn’t hurt to have that too if that’s your thing, but to believe and have faith that things could be different.
I’ve always been honest and said that when I first read the Intuitive Eating book, I was skeptical that I could experience the kind of freedom and peace that they described. After all, Evelyn Tribole and Elyse Resch (the authors who I later trained with) didn’t know the depths of my disordered eating.
They didn’t know that I had suffered for years with an undiagnosed eating disorder.
They didn’t know how ashamed I felt about my binge and emotional eating.
They didn’t know how embarrassed I felt about expanding and shrinking my body.
In my mind, I was the most disordered eater on the planet! Most days I believed that I was beyond help and that my life with food and body would never change. However, after reading a good portion of the book and nearly convincing myself that it was all BS, I could hear a little voice inside of me said “Yeah, but what if it could work for me?”
That little voice was telling me to have faith! Faith that…
- My life with food and my body could be different.
- My obsessive thoughts around food could one day subside.
- That I could find comfort in my body regardless of what I weighed.
- That I might be able to experience a magical transformational like others I had read about.
- That I could eat one or two cookies (if that’s all I desired) without feeling compelled to eat the whole darn dozen!
- That I could feel less guilt and remorse around my food choices.
- That my relationship with movement could be more balanced and less focused on just burning calories and/or punishment for what I had eaten.
- That all of this might be possible if I tried Intuitive Eating.
So, I tried it.
At first, I was excited to be free from dieting. However, shortly after the excitement came the fear and feelings of overwhelm. It sounded kind of easy when I read about it, but putting it into practice was a different story! That’s when I hired my first coach. I believed freedom could be mine, but I knew I needed help, so I got it.
It’s true that, at first, I was a little overwhelmed by all ‘mechanics’ of Intuitive Eating. She helped me with that, but what I really needed support navigating around was all the emotional stuff that surfaced when I stopped using food as my only coping mechanism. And, she also helped me to see one of my biggest blind spots which was my lack of consistent self-care. No, I’m not just talking about the occasional manicure and pedicure! I’m talking about big girl panty stuff like:
- Learning to establish boundaries with friends, family and co-workers.
- Starting to embrace that body acceptance wasn’t giving up but was a step toward true contentment.
- Understanding that to heal, I had to approach my disordered eating with curiosity instead of judgment.
- Understanding that self-love included all of me…even the emotions and behaviors that we’re so pleasant.
- Acknowledging that my chronic ‘comparisonitis’ was linked to my profound feelings of unworthiness. Gulp!
- Recognizing my own prejudices about people in larger bodies.
- Forgiving myself and others.
Like I said, big girl panty stuff!
Discovering food and body freedom is a journey that never ends. Based on my personal experience, and the experiences my amazing clients have had, faith needs to be an essential part of the journey. To succeed, you’ll need to have:
Faith in yourself.
Faith in the process.
Faith in your body.
So, if you’re in a precarious place right now in your journey, perhaps sprinkling in some faith may help to change your perspective. Holding a vision for what you want in your life is one of the most powerful ways to create it. Without faith, it’s too easy to give up and return to disordered eating behaviors (diet mentality, food policing), abusing movement, engaging in chronic negative self-talk, etc.
Remember, dieting is much easier than Intuitive Eating. Those who are courageous, open to change, and prepared to live a new life will likely come out on the ‘other’ side transformed. It doesn’t happen overnight, but being consistent, having reliable support measures in place, and remembering to have faith in yourself and the process most often yields freedom! I’m living proof!
I’d love to hear from you. How has faith been a part of your no-diet journey? Feel free to share with us in The No-Diet Sisterhood.
Do you struggle with digestive issues like bloating, indigestion, constipation or any other unpleasant side effect after eating certain foods? Well, I do and I’m coming clean about it!
Even after all these years practicing Intuitive Eating, it’s hard to come to terms with foods that no longer serve me. There’s almost like a mourning period. I’ve recently admitted to myself that red meat and onions don’t agree with me (alone or separate). I’m okay with poultry and fish, but red meat, doesn’t digest well in my body. When I’m honest about this, I believe that I’ve known this for some time, but because I was a vegetarian for nearly four years, and for the last year denied myself animal protein because I was hoping my cravings for them would subside (which they never did), I felt that denying myself red meat was depriving myself again. That didn’t feel good to me at all!
Coming to terms with foods that don’t agree with our bodies isn’t easy. I know many people who have food sensitivities (which is not the same as food allergies) or just experience discomfort but still cannot give them up because it kicks them into “deprivation mode”.
I want to be clear that food deprivation is never the answer. When we’re depriving ourselves of foods because of their calorie, fat or carb content (aka afraid of weight gain) we will fall victim to that diet/binge cycle and that never has a good outcome! However, minimizing or eliminating foods that no longer make our bodies feel good (regardless of their macro content) seems to make sense when we do this in a self-compassionate manner. In fact, when we view it through the self-compassion lens instead of the deprivation lens, it doesn’t seem as scary, right? Since I began thinking about it in these terms, I now feel this is a form of SELF-CARE and not food deprivation.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Just because I know that eating red meat and onions doesn’t agree with my tummy, that doesn’t always mean that I’m never going to eat them again. I’m not striving for perfection, but I am striving to feel good as often as possible without going to extremes. So, yes, I will limit these foods because I prefer to feel good and not have the uncomfortable burping, bloating and gas all day long. But, if I do choose to eat them, I will not beat myself up about it either. Remember, one of the best things about practicing Intuitive Eating is that it allows us to be flexible and kind to ourselves around food. Also, just because we have unconditional permission to eat all foods, that doesn’t mean that all foods will feel good in our bodies. Learning to distinguish which foods feel good in our bodies and which foods don’t is part of the “tuning in” process.
I also want to add that sometimes taking a good probiotic or digestive enzyme helps with digestive issues. I’ve also found that sometimes food combinations need to also be considered. So, in your quest to getting to know your body better, consider these things before completely eliminating foods from your diet.
If you’re struggling with certain foods because they don’t make your body feel good, I hope you’ll consider what I’ve written here so you can find a solution that works best for your body.
IMPORTANT NOTE: If you’re new to Intuitive Eating, it’s not uncommon to have some digestive issues and/or other physical challenges because you’re likely eating foods that you haven’t eaten in some time. If that is your case, be patient and continue be mindful if a particular food(s) seems to be consistently causing you difficulty. Or, if you have been diagnosed with an eating disorder, always discuss these types of issues with your practitioners before minimizing or eliminating foods as it may impact your recovery.